Saturday, July 31, 2010

August Almost Here!

Trying to see things in a new PERSPECTIVE is difficult. Just found out from my annual eye exam that I have CATARACTS in both eyes which will require SURGERY sometime within the next year. Needless to say I LOATH any surgeries, but especially this UNEXPECTED one, but it will help me see better when reading.

A blogger FRIEND of mine recently had foot surgery and the anesthesiologist asked her if she had any HEART PROBLEMS and she answered "No, other than the divorce." That brought a CHUCKLE to me because I've been dealing with a lot of RESIDUE from my divorce, as I recently spent a day interacting with my ex-spouse at a COMBINED family reunion. Needless to say many memories and feelings were stirred up that still haven't settled and are pulling me DOWN.

How to RELEASE negative feelings is the question? Morning pages or free association writings certainly help get ISSUES to the surface to deal with, but I'm bugged because my divorce was 35 years ago and I STILL have issues. Maybe I'm confusing FORGIVENESS with FORGETTING. I've forgiven him but the memories are still there of the DEVASTATION caused in our family to all of us! (Yes, that is a photo of my ex on the left except he has long gray hair and a cane. LOL!)

6 comments:

Terri Tiffany said...

I always wonder if we can really forget some of our sadder moments no matter if we forgive. I think it's hard especially if you are near a person who has hurt you.

SandyCarlson said...

Lin,
I just had some bad memories kicked up, and I wondered why I felt them. I guess it's because I am alive. Totally with you on this one.

Janie B said...

My sister just had cataract surgery and she said there was nothing to it. She also said she sees colors better now (without a yellowish film). You should do it.

As for the divorce residue, I had it too for a long time, but I finally let it all go when my therapist told me 2 things. First, I took a baseball bat to my bed and beat the tar out of it leading to many tears. Second, I closed my eyes and visualized my ex on a raft waving good-bye and she floated around a bend in the river. I don't know why it worked, but it did. You should try it.

Jean said...

Love Janie B's suggestion that you visualize the ex floating down the river and around a bend!

My friend had cataract surgery in one eye a couple of years ago and said it was a breeze. He has the other eye done this coming week and isn't dreading it at all.

Rambling Woods said...

Sorry that you have to have cataracts removed. My hubby had one done not too long ago and it wasn't bad at all....

Mare said...

The divorce trauma does hang around...mine was 25 years ago, and I occasionally have dreams relevant to the circumstances. I awake annoyed that it still affects me. Rejection isn't a pleasant experience. But...life goes on. There are always worse situations. And I do understand what you are saying, Lin.