Happy Birthday TINA

Two of my daughters-in-law have birthdays this month. 

Today is Tina's. Glad we were able to visit this weekend.

Grandparents Day

Grandma Lin answers questions posed by Nathan now in 5th grade

Nathan's favorite subject is science and doing experiments. Sounds fun.

James is in Second Grade and a real live wire. He was excited we came. 

Grandma Lin reading a homemade card made by James. We had refreshments too.

The twins (l-r) Heather and Emilee are now in high school. We spent time
together playing Aggravation, a game made by Great Grandpa Blomberg 

Heather is taking floral design and made this beautiful paper bouquet.

Always busy, Dad Daniel is getting ready to go camping.

Nathan is now almost 11 and a boy scout! 

James is always busy designing something-a scene for a story!

Utah Valley Solitude

Utah Lake on the SW end of the lake

Article #262 Single, Never Married

            With all the divorce in our society, it’s no wonder than many youth from broken homes grow up and don’t  marry. With few examples of happy marriages in their immediate or extended family to guide them, some may not want to wed. Or they could be socially inept in relationships––lacking the self esteem to make this major commitment. During high school days, there tends to be a coupling of individuals for dates, dances and social activities. If you aren’t part of this IN CROWD, it can lead to a lack of self confidence and lost opportunities to find a spouse. I didn’t date till college and remember feeling left out in high school. When I finally got engaged at age 23, I was definitely an OLD MAID. Now as I look back, I wish I hadn’t spend so much time obsessing about getting married or having a steady boy friend, but instead ENJOYED that time to develop my talents and interests.

            Some individuals who don’t marry for whatever reason, choose to live alone or with their parents or friends and miss the joys and challenges of having their own family and children. Nowadays it’s a little easier to meet someone with digital dating to help you find a compatible mate. But don’t trust a computer with this important part of your life and relationship expectations. Push yourself to socialize, meet others, get involved with service projects, etc. Learn to send value to those of the opposite sex without compromising your standards or goals in life. Life’s not a race, it’s a "self improvement" journey.

            Single never marrieds can hopefully find a FULFILLING CAREER to meet their needs and supportive friends to socialize with to fill the lonely hours. Still there may be a feeling of failure in their inner thoughts and heart and a longing to be normal, to have a family and enjoy the companionship and love of a committed partner. Always feeling different and left out in a world of couples and families, it's still possible to live a full life by looking outside one’s self for opportunities to SERVE and LIFT OTHERS. Developing your talents and interests can bring happiness. There are advantages to being single in terms of personal freedom and resources, unless you spent all your time focused on pursuing marriage. Remember-we will all be single at some point in our life whether never married, divorced or widowed. NEXT TIME: Do Something Physical. 

Happy Birthday NEDRET

Another birthday for Nedret, my daughter in law who married

my oldest son Frank. Have a fun birth-day. (Photos from Nedret.)

Boat Progress Report

Master craftsman at work slowly and carefully building his wooden boat.

There are two sides to fit then it will be turned over and the inside built.

Six strakes on this side so far, four more to go

The wood was cut but had to be trimmed, glued together then fitted and glued.

Recommendations

I've been having  my latest book DISCOVER YOUR VOICE AFTER DIVORCE reviewed. It's been rewarding to have other authors compliment my efforts. Hopefully this will help sales soon. I'll have my book made into an e-book which will be available sometime next month from amazon.com for a reduced price yet to be determined. The print copy sells for $15 plus $5 mailing costs. It costs about $9 to print each copy, so if you do the arithmetic––I don't write to make money, but to share my ideas with others. My wisdom that was gained in the school of hard knocks.

The back cover of my latest publication

Here's a recommendation from the renowned authors of self help books Gary and Joy Lundberg:

"Lin Vernon Floyd's workbook Discover Your Voice After Divorce is excellent. Her personal experience has laid a solid foundation to write this helpful book. It's a thoughtfully prepared guide for others going through this same painful journey. Readers will discover the way to help put their lives back together and find peace and happiness.  We highly recommend it."

---Gary Lundberg, MA MFT, and Joy Lundberg, coauthors of "I Don't Have to Make Everything All Better" and "Love That Lasts"

Another certified addiction counselor who also is graduate of BYU had this to say of my book: Good work! the world is a little better place because of what your trying to do. Blessings, Roger

Divorce: Writing Workbook for Healing and Recovery by Lin Vernon Floyd

In my work with those struggling with addictions, one of the saddest of possible realities is divorce.  I am always looking for tools to help clients through that very difficult process.   Lin Vernon Floyd’s work “Divorce: Writing Workbook for Healing and Recovery,” fills that need.

She writes from the perspective of experience, a retired educator and writer of things, she combines the healing power of writing (and journaling), the teaching power of her poetry, and the wisdom that only experience can bring to provide a guidebook for navigating divorce.

Written from an LDS perspective, Lin understands the befuddlement that comes from divorce in that culture. (This was never supposed to happen to me!)  She explores some essentials for healing; finding a voice, self worth, the value of healthy self talk and the absence of self bullying, and establishment of a loving relationship with self.

Lin focuses on the grieving process, the dangers of codependency, the often encountered enemy of depression and the wonderful healing powers of acceptance and  hope.  The author realizes that there are many pieces to the recovery puzzle and artfully uses her educational skills to guide the user through these in the workbook.

Floyd rightfully recognizes that ultimately moving forward with life is the goal and provides good discussion of what that needs to look like.  In part, just being willing to try again while realistically expecting challenges brings success.  Always, she advises, work on self care and when appropriate, put yourself first.

I am personally and professionally grateful for this workbook and highly recommend it to those facing the possibility or dealing with divorce. Roger Stark, author/addiction counselor/recovery coach www.waterfallconcept.org

Keeping Busy

My camera is a Canon PowerShot SX40 which has a 35x zoom. 

It's too big to carry in my purse unfortunately...

In my spare time, I'm vice-president of the photo club. 

Here's a display at our activity expo for my retirement community

My photo of the harvest full moon yesterday morning...

Article #261 Divorced?

            Getting divorced in 1975 wasn’t as common as it is nowadays. Then it was looked upon as a failure regardless of the reason for the divorce. I remember sitting in church and overhearing an older woman saying, No one should ever get divorced. While I agreed with her that divorce is a major upheaval in the life of all involved, sometimes it’s impossible to stay in a marriage for many reasons. Today it’s more acceptable to divorce. Statistics disclose that half of all marriages will end in a breakup in this generation. A sad but true statement as I look at my own family. What has caused this divorce revolution?

            The surge towards personal fulfillment for each individual has led many men and women to turn from the responsibility of working to make a good marriage to searching for instant happiness outside the bounds of marriage. The growing independence of women and their ability to support themselves financially has had a definite influence. Other causes of family breakups include addiction, alcoholism and abuse. The real losers in this whole situation have been the children involved who suffer from a lack of stability in their lives when their parents divorce.

            In my new publication Discover Your Voice After Divorce, I quote one of my sons at the time of my divorce from his father saying, I feel like a broken egg. I’m sure he was thinking of a raw egg, not a hard-boiled one. That is an apt description of anyone who has experienced divorce regardless of the cause or who is at fault. It hurts. The old normal is gone. There is much healing to do on everyone’s part.

            After divorce, you are faced with many adjustments to your personal lifestyle. Your children are also affected. Your new status as a divorced family may require drastic changes: a lower level of income, selling your home, new schools, custody issues plus strained relationships with in-laws and extended family. It will take time to recover and work through all the issues, to grieve for the many losses involved. Children need to be able to express their feelings. Family counseling may be needed. Forgiveness certainly plays its part in going forward. Children tend to personalize the divorce and feel that perhaps they caused it. They need love and reassurance from both parents who are busy and drained from working through their personal issues. NEXT TIME: Single, Never Married

Writers Conference

Annual League of Utah Writers Conference in Salt Lake City offered many interesting classes.

Members of Heritage Writers Guild in SLC Airport Hilton

Marilyn Richardson greets her students in a Memoir class

Trying to sell our books at the conference

Lots of lookers but no buyers, unfortunately

Visiting Family Again

Spent the weekend in SLC at a writers conference
then off to spend Sunday with FAMILY

James likes to help Daddy Daniel cook up a storm

Excellent Cafe Rio Burritos are enjoyed by all

Son Jeffrey and his son Edwin enjoyed the peach pie too!

Edmund or Eddie as he's called is full of life

Lorien and Grandma rest on the couch

Lorien takes photos of her brother

Article #260 Widows and Widowers

            Growing older can be a time to face the challenge of living alone for many married couples. The years you are married bring a security knowing that someone is there to support and care for you, but there is the reality that at some unknown time death will separate you. This event can be abrupt and sudden, when a heart attack or stroke disables one partner or death may be drawn out with suffering from a devastating disease. The real test of any marriage or committed relationship is growing closer during these difficult times.

            Falling in love with its romantic emotions is thrilling, but the test of a couple’s love and devotion is enduring to the end. Having a partner who is there with understanding and patience when health issues arise brings a sense of security. Knowing the other person will love you in spite of weight gains, changes in appearance as you age or face disease and disabilities is comforting. I love watching a caregiver who gently and patiently takes care of his/her partner when needed: unloading a walker, wheel chair or power chair in a parking lot, then helping a spouse out of the car and into the doctor’s office or a store. What a blessing a committed partner is to his/her loved one when it’s so needed.

            It’s easy to feel committed to a relationship when you are young or newly married, but the real test comes in the days, weeks, months and sometimes decades of daily care required at the end of many relationships. What an example to family are those couples that remain side by side through sickness, health, and finally death’s farewell. I tried to capture that feeling in this poem I wrote after seeing an older gentlemen at a local cemetery. NEXT TIME: Divorced?

 DEPARTURE

Gingerly he crosses

the uneven ground,

afraid of falling

holds firmly to his cane. 

Three months have passed

since she departed, 

leaving him behind, alone. 

Sixty years ago, 

they were so young, in love,

pledged their vows solemnly. 

Oh, to return now

for one day or just an hour, 

hold her in his arms, 

tenderly express his love, 

feel again her sweet touch. 

Time is too cruel,

taking her away so suddenly

his dear companion. 

He leaves a single daisy, 

her favorite on the grave.

Icelandic Presentation

Display for my women's church group on my trip to Iceland

A collage of scenic beauties of Iceland 

Relief Society presidency serves us Icelandic crepes

Crepes with jam and blueberries with cream on top

We had about 34 women from our church who attended

It was fun showing my I-movie again and sharing my trip