Growing older can be a time to face the challenge of living
alone for many married couples. The years you are married bring a security
knowing that someone is there to support and care for you, but there is the reality that at some unknown time death
will separate you. This event can
be abrupt and sudden, when a heart attack or stroke disables one partner or death may be drawn out with
suffering from a devastating disease. The real test of any marriage or
committed relationship is growing closer during these difficult times.
Falling
in love with its romantic emotions is thrilling, but the test of a couple’s
love and devotion is enduring to the end.
Having a partner who is there with understanding and patience when health
issues arise brings a sense of security. Knowing the other person will love you
in spite of weight gains, changes in appearance as you age or face disease and
disabilities is comforting. I love watching a caregiver who gently and
patiently takes care of his/her partner when needed: unloading a walker, wheel
chair or power chair in a parking lot, then helping a spouse out of the car and
into the doctor’s office or a store. What a blessing a committed partner is to
his/her loved one when it’s so needed.
It’s
easy to feel committed to a relationship when you are young or newly married,
but the real test comes in the days, weeks, months and sometimes decades of daily
care required at the end of many
relationships. What an example to family are those couples that remain side by
side through sickness, health, and finally
death’s farewell. I tried to capture that feeling in this poem I wrote
after seeing an older gentlemen at a local cemetery. NEXT TIME: Divorced?
DEPARTURE
Gingerly he crosses
the uneven ground,
afraid of falling
holds firmly
to his cane.
Three months have passed
since she departed,
leaving him
behind, alone.
Sixty years ago,
they were so young, in love,
pledged their vows solemnly.
Oh, to return now
for
one day or just an hour,
hold her in his arms,
tenderly express his love,
feel again her sweet touch.
Time is too cruel,
taking her away so
suddenly
his dear companion.
He leaves a single daisy,
her favorite on the grave.