For some weird reason, NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS are whirling around in my head trying to become clearer. I still like my standard resolve "to act NOT react." That works for every situation and time it seems, although I don't always do it. But a new thought is revolving around- CONNECTING. I feel a real pull to help others and myself "to find their voice." To connect with themselves, thereby allowing them to connect with others. (Photos of me taken in 1970 when I was younger and slimmer!)
The first step I feel is To SHUT DOWN or IGNORE the negative self talk that we all allow either consciously or without awareness that STOPS us from becoming ALL we can become. Discovering our authentic self, and the better person we can become, then making that JOURNEY of SELF DISCOVERY. So we can connect, not in guiltiness but with adventure and enthusiasm. I want to teach this to others.
I've had several experiences lately where someone else has REAFFIRMED my value as a person. Growing up as a tall, shy, awkward, insecure young girl, it's taken years for me to develop SELF CONFIDENCE. From my experience in performing as a DANCER, I've learned that I have a talent, then as a modern dance teacher I discovered I could help others become more CREATIVE. Now as a WRITER, I seem to be almost obsessed in helping others through classes and my writings to DISCOVER their own self worth and their VOICE. I'm still amazed when I interact with someone and they COMPLIMENT me on my writings or classes. I'm trying to ACCEPT their APPROVAL of me and IGNORE the negative SELF TALK that says...oh they don't really mean that, don't get a big head, you know your weaknesses, etc.
I was visiting a dance professor at BYU that I've worked with several times in developing a history of the Dance Dept, and he APPRECIATES my help with this project. Everytime I see him, he stops all his work and TAKES TIME to sit down and talk with me. I feel this enormous VALUE being sent to me. So much so that last time I visited, tears came easily to my eyes as we visited. He saw my tears as I tried to APOLOGIZE for them, and said that's okay, people do cry in my office. He's young enough to be my son, a modern dance professor, and a former Dance Dept. Chair. Just an overall nice guy. HE SENDS EVERYONE VALUE!
My RELIGIOUS LEADER does that also. As I was talking with him the other day, he commented on my SERVICE in the branch or congregation, my ORGANIZATION and POSITIVE ATTITUDE. He, too, is another sweet man who HUMBLY serves others. Then there are my FRIENDS Caryn, Mary and Gittan who are so POSITIVE about my abilities and influence in their lives. It's a GIFT to myself to be around them all. Others in my life, including blogging friends and family members also send me VALUE. I realize how IMPORTANT that is to each of us. I WANT to help others learn how to give and accept that kind of CONNECTION. My new resolution for 2011 is to HELP OTHERS FIND THEIR VOICE!