I
like the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by author John Gray. It’s a guide to understanding
the differences between the sexes. Being raised by a widowed mom, I never
realized that men look at the world differently than women. Getting married
certainly opened my eyes. I love to talk intimately with girl friends about my
feelings, but most husbands have difficulty talking about emotions. My spouse
is an engineer who loves to fix things and read instructional manuals.
Unfortunately women don’t come with a manual, and neither do children.
Somehow
you always want to change your spouse to think like you do, but hey that’s why you
married him or her because of the differences. My hubby is the one I ask to fix
the thermostat or remote or take the lid off a bottle. He doesn’t have to be my
therapist too. I have a close friend whose husband is a professional counselor.
I’ve always thought that would be ideal, but I’ve learned that it doesn’t
necessarily work that way. After solving the world’s emotional problems at his
job, this hard working man wants to come home to his cave and hide out––not solve
all the family problems his wife has saved until his return.
So,
how does one resolve these differences? Try lowering your expectations and become
more realistic. Your spouse has personality traits that you admired or else you
wouldn’t have married. Will you ever find the perfect partner––no! Just find
someone you can respect and love enough to make the commitment of marriage.
Loyalty and trust are more important traits than having a therapeutic partner
on call 24/7.
Looking
for your partner’s positive traits can make for a healthier longer lasting
relationship that will grow and change over the years vs. searching for the perfect
soul mate that completes you. It won’t happen for most people in this life because
no one is perfect. So, two imperfect people fall in love, marry and create a
family. Learn to overlook one another’s faults, communicate and live reasonably
happily ever after while solving the problems
that will come. Then one day with graying and thinning hair, they can look back
and be thankful for the bonding journey with a loving companion. We all need interactions
with others of the opposite sex to enrich our life, whether we have never
married or are widowed or divorced. NEXT TIME: Purpose of Life