Having written free verse all my life, I love it but I have just discovered rhythm and rhyme. Here's my revised children's nature poem reworded. Structure is ABCB and iambic tetrameter, I think....or DA dum DA dum DA dum DA dum with the accents-this isn't easy. Actually I did it backwards. It should be da DUM da DUM da DUM da DUM which makes it trochaic octometer. Well, it's a work in progress.
PICNIC PESTS-(click here to compare with the original version)
Taking your picnic to the parkon a sunny summer hot day.
You're not there for long before
pesky insects come your way.
Buzzing over the fried chicken
slurping the drinks full of fizz.
You can almost hear the bees say,
Oh, that looks good or maybe this.
You could try to share your foodor perhaps just ignore the pests.
But you'll be happier I'm sure
if you invite them to be YOUR guests.
Swinging at them with a swatter
is hard to do, though kind of fun.
Watch out for you could get stung;
by all means, be ready to run.
Bees make such sweet honey to eat,
is hard to do, though kind of fun.
Watch out for you could get stung;
by all means, be ready to run.
Bees make such sweet honey to eat,
help flowers to bud and to bloom,
fruit to grow so tasty. But please
fruit to grow so tasty. But please
bee care-ful, give them lots of room.