Twenty-two years old and not married! I was definitely an old maid by BYU standards in those days, as perceived by my classmates. It was every good Mormon girl’s dream to come to BYWoo, as it was affectionately called, and find a husband-hopefully a handsome newly returned Mormon missionary. The problem was there were more girls than RMs-returned missionaries available in our student wards or congregations, so the competition was tough.
If you didn’t find a husband by the time you graduated or were twenty-one years old, you were considered sister missionary material. You were encouraged to sign up with your bishop for an eighteen month mission which assured that when you returned nearing the age of twenty-three, you were hopelessly single forever. However, some sister missionaries did find husband material in the mission field among the much younger elders who were from nineteen to twenty-one years old. Of course, the reason for going on a mission was to teach the gospel, NOT to find a husband.
Did I find someone at BYU? Well I thought I had. Having received my bachelors degree but not my bachelor, I was pursuing my masters degree when I started steadily dating a younger man who hadn’t served a mission yet. Given my age and timetable that was a mistake, for he soon left on a foreign mission. Our relationship was put on hold for two and half years. I agreed to date others while he was gone, and if I was still around when he returned, we would pursue a more serious relationship. After he left on his mission, of course, I met my Prince Charming-a tall, dark handsome returned missionary.
This necessitated a big decision on my part as I had been toying with the idea of also going on a mission to keep busy while my missionary boy friend was serving. But after weighing my options: to get engaged and married or serve a mission for two years, I wrote my Dear John letter. The famous letter that every male missionary dreads receiving on his mission. In my case, my new boy friend was also writing a sister missionary from his mission, so he wrote his Dear Jane letter.