It’s just about impossible to find or arrange one on one time with your grandchildren or nieces and nephews to have a meaningful interaction. If you do find yourself alone with a child, their interest may be somewhere else like texting a friend or playing games on their cell phone. It calls for creativity on your part to connect with a younger person and have a teaching or bonding moment.
During a recent visit with my family, I found myself alone at the kitchen table, while two of my teenage grandkids were off in the computer room on Facebook or Twittering with friends. Well, being a computer literate grandma I didn’t let that stop me. I got on Facebook on my laptop and messaged one of my grandkids. I told her that her real or virtual grandparent was available in the kitchen to talk or play games. The child immediately texted back, Ok, I’m coming.
We were able to spend some quality time one on one because of my extra mile online efforts. I could have just felt neglected or ignored, but instead I CREATED a bonding-teaching moment. Later before visiting them at their home, I arranged with their parents to take the granddaughters for a day’s outing at a local art museum and to lunch afterwards without their younger siblings. Just being together with them in our car gave me the opportunity to ask questions about their school activities, etc. Although next time, I think I’ll have them leave their cell phones at home or off.
Without the distraction of their younger siblings and being away from home, there were plenty of opportunities to interact. They discovered their grandpa has a dry sense of humor and laughed at his complex jokes. With only two instead of four grandkids demanding my attention, I could focus on these quickly maturing teenagers. By looking them in the eye, and sending value to each of them, I found opportunities to ask a question or make a suggestion for them to try in their lives. These precious moments will soon be gone to express interest in their teenage years.
I’ve discovered that ASKING questions about their lives, attitudes and concerns is more effective than TELLING or preaching values I want them to have. Listening and asking makes for teaching moments and strengthens the bonds that make us a family. NEXT TIME: The Tests.