I don’t like the word BRAINWASHING. It is
a forceful method of trying to control others through coercive persuasion,
influence, manipulation, etc. Fear of violence to self or rejection can
certainly motivate one to adapt others’ professed beliefs and behavior. Many
cults or terrorist groups practice this type of MIND or thought CONTROL.
Few families use this mode of operation, teaching by fear of punishment or
rejection. They hopefully teach with quiet example, love and integrity to their
professed beliefs or lifestyle.
Being a religious person
who has tried to raise my children to believe in a higher power, some
individuals have suggested that I'm brainwashing my children. While these same
people see themselves as being in a freedom mode teaching their offspring that
there is no one in charge of the universe, that life began through random
unplanned events––a big bang. I don’t think that EITHER of us is brainwashing
our family members, but only teaching them our own traditions and beliefs.
Children when they are grown will make their own judgments on what religion or
philosophy to follow or not follow. Although, we are certainly influenced by
other’s examples and our own upbringing.
To
teach nothing is not the answer. Leaving the child to their own resources,
doesn’t solve the problem. A child needs security and meaning in their lives
which generally comes from the parents or in some cases grandparents or other
extended family members. Although, we do need to honor stewardships lines of
who is responsible for teaching the child.
Conformity is not family unity. There needs to be space for individuals within a
family to explore different life styles without upsetting the family galaxy or
leading to guilt feelings on anyone’s part. Agreeing to disagree is an important principle is this case.
Not
taking others rejection of your life style personally is easier said than done, but
it’s important to teach that EACH person is responsible for how they live their
life as an adult in a positive way and not just continuing to rebel against family
or society norms without thought. It ultimately comes down to the question of
what to teach our children to help them develop into fully functioning, loving
responsible adults. To ask is to teach, to tell is to preach is a great standard to measure our teaching
techniques. NEXT TIME: Standards of Behavior