The next time you are in a group, look around. Notice the body language of the individuals with you. Do some people seem confident and at ease with themselves? They are usually the friendly ones, who reach out and converse with others, develop friendships and are not just wrapped up in their own insecurities.A person has self worth just because he/she is an individual in the community; but too many people lack a positive self-image. Negative thoughts and inner voices are working to undermine their confidence, make them feel less than adequate. Self doubts and inner talk play too large a role in some individual’s lives. You worry about your weight, your age, your clothing–––others perceptions of you. There is no end to the personal judgments you make about yourself. If you applied this same attitude to others, you’d want to become a hermit and not interact at all.
How do you build a positive self image? By not listening to the negative thoughts that fill your mind so often; instead focus on others. Get to know strangers better, send value to them, help them feel important. In turn, that technique will increase your self image and feelings of self-worth. You will find yourself, by forgetting yourself.
As you enter a new situation, be open to opportunities to connect with others. Start a conversation, introduce yourself, ask others for their names. Then memorize their names by attaching some other idea to it. i.e. I met a new couple in our neighborhood and they told me their names are Paul and Carolyn. Immediately I said to myself PC like a computer. That was my memory tool, then I used their names quickly. It’s nice to meet you, Paul and Carolyn.
My focus wasn’t on what they were thinking of me. I can’t control that, but in making them feel valued and at ease. Becoming their friend put me at ease, built my self image and self worth. The ensuing conversation helped us get better acquainted with what interests we have in common. Later an invitation to join us for an activity could lead to more opportunities to connect and build a lasting friendship.
Realizing that we all struggle with self worth and our self image can lead to a more relaxed style of living, less stress and more fun as you interact and connect with others. Look out, not inside. NEXT TIME: Connecting