Thursday, September 12, 2013

Article #260 Widows and Widowers

            Growing older can be a time to face the challenge of living alone for many married couples. The years you are married bring a security knowing that someone is there to support and care for you, but there is the reality that at some unknown time death will separate you. This event can be abrupt and sudden, when a heart attack or stroke disables one partner or death may be drawn out with suffering from a devastating disease. The real test of any marriage or committed relationship is growing closer during these difficult times.
            Falling in love with its romantic emotions is thrilling, but the test of a couple’s love and devotion is enduring to the end. Having a partner who is there with understanding and patience when health issues arise brings a sense of security. Knowing the other person will love you in spite of weight gains, changes in appearance as you age or face disease and disabilities is comforting. I love watching a caregiver who gently and patiently takes care of his/her partner when needed: unloading a walker, wheel chair or power chair in a parking lot, then helping a spouse out of the car and into the doctor’s office or a store. What a blessing a committed partner is to his/her loved one when it’s so needed.
            It’s easy to feel committed to a relationship when you are young or newly married, but the real test comes in the days, weeks, months and sometimes decades of daily care required at the end of many relationships. What an example to family are those couples that remain side by side through sickness, health, and finally death’s farewell. I tried to capture that feeling in this poem I wrote after seeing an older gentlemen at a local cemetery. NEXT TIME: Divorced?


Gingerly he crosses
the uneven ground,
afraid of falling
holds firmly to his cane. 

Three months have passed
since she departed, 
leaving him behind, alone. 

Sixty years ago, 
they were so young, in love,
pledged their vows solemnly. 

Oh, to return now
for one day or just an hour, 
hold her in his arms, 
tenderly express his love, 
feel again her sweet touch. 

Time is too cruel,
taking her away so suddenly
his dear companion. 

He leaves a single daisy, 
her favorite on the grave.


Terri Tiffany said...

I'm watching my mil take care of my fil like that now. It makes me think of my future with my husband. Your poem was very touching.

Kay said...

I dread this happening. My husband is older, but I'm hoping to go first. He's stronger than I am. Your poem is very poignant, Lin.

Brenda @ Its A Beautiful Life said...

A poignant aspect of all our lives at some point; loving till the end and beyond.

A moving feel his heart for his beloved.

dellgirl said...

What a touching poem, thank you for sharing this Lin.