Expressing your frustrations through writing a letter to
someone involved can be healthy. It’s a safe place for you to work through your
frustrations. but don’t send the letter. I wrote to a former spouse expressing
my feelings about our divorce. After rereading my words, I wrote a response to
myself from this person to try to see his possible point of view. This process
may surprise you with new understandings.
When I was five years old, my father died in an airplane
accident. There’s always been an empty place in my life. A few years ago, I
decided to write a healing letter to my long absent father expressing my
loneliness and longing to have him near. This activity helped me release many
pent up emotions. Then, I decided to write a response from his viewpoint to my
letter. It was enlightening to try to imagine his feelings about being suddenly
separated by death from his family at age 29. How lonely he must have felt and
wanting to communicate, but unable. This whole process was cathartic for me.
Instead of writing a letter you could just use your journal
to examine the lessons or strengths you are gaining from a difficult situation.
Say you are recently widowed. Your loss is great after years of loving
companionship. You wonder how you will continue on alone. Try writing about
these emotions in your journal. Then, write a possible response from your
spouse’s viewpoint. What advice or comfort would your loved one give you? Is it
possible for this time in your life to be full of personal growth that wouldn’t
have happened if you were still together?
One of my friends wrote a healing letter to
her recently departed husband as part of a local hospice program. She found it
brought closure to the grieving process. Pent up emotions are not healthy, no
matter what the loss is that you are experiencing. Own your feelings, then move
on with your life with gratitude for the lessons learned and strength gained
from the bumps in the road of life. The letters written are for your own
healing and not to be sent to those involved or shared with others unless you
desire to. Perhaps you’ll find the strength to talk face to face with anyone
involved that is still around. Do you have a healing letter to write. Do it! NEXT TIME: Morning Walks