Being raised as an only child, I never had to share anything with a sibling. I’ve noticed how easy it is for an older brother or sister in some families to become a bully demanding that younger ones share their toys or other prized possessions. This is a problem in the whole world as factions within countries bully one another for power and control. It’s the cause of wars and dictators inflicting physical and emotional harm to their people and others.
Not a solvable problem you might say, but if focused on in a family first-inroads can be made. Reward and compliment older children or grandchildren when you see them looking out for younger family members. Show by your example, how sharing and playing together especially in competitive games can be fun for everyone, If you’re not always worried about who is winning, everyone can have a good time and be a winner.
Learning to deal with bullies first in the family is a useful skill for life. You will meet many power hungry people as you grow up in the community, school and even church environments. Each individual needs to develop and be nurtured within first the family to know that they are of value and have a voice against bullies. Communication with those in leadership or parental roles is paramount in helping a child develop feelings of strong self worth.
So many cases of sexual abuse in the news lately point out how important it is to have communication with your little ones. Role playing with younger or endangered family members can help them understand what is happening in a situation with a bully. How to protect themselves from further abuse and stop the situation is vital information.
I met several bullies in my school experiences, but no one ever told me how to deal with them. So. I kept the abuse quiet even from my widowed parent. It wasn’t until I was married that I learned to deal with emotional abuse from a wandering spouse. I had to take a stand for me and my family. Many divorces happen that way. Adult wives need to be trained to understand their rights and how to stand up for themselves against abusive spouses.
Christmas is a good time to reach out to our family members and community members especially those in need and show them that someone cares for them.
I agree with you Lin. We must start at home with teaching children manners, good behavior and how to treat each other nicely...there is so much bullying that goes on and its sad. We have had fun this Christmas season in helping out a young family and another young child and his grandmother...hope that they know that someone does indeed care..if everyone just reached out to another person what a wonderful ripple effect could be created!
ReplyDeleteWonderful post, Lin! The only time I remember bullying in school was when the boys used to take things from one classmate's lunch. He was small due to a kidney problem. I think he felt isolated. I vaguely remember speaking up for him once. Vaguely. Maybe I did. Maybe I wish I did. I don't know. Years later, my mother told me that his mother was happy I was nice to him. Then I felt guilty that I hadn't done enough. He died soon after entering high school. I have regrets over this.
ReplyDeleteI too was a victim of bullies and said nothing...this is a very important post Lin....
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