Saturday, June 26, 2010

Spring cleaning my mind

As I'm trying to clean out the negative thoughts in my mind, I got to thinking about the role of ANGER and SORROW in our lives. Then I read this article in the Desert News by Jerry Johnston-local columnist in an article entitled "Sorrow is Ingredient for Growth" that caught my eye.

In the article, Jerry tells us: We see a lot of anger today about the direction of society; but I've never trusted anger, not in myself, not in others. Anger may be righteous, but behind its face lurks self-interest. We may claim to be angry over immigration, gay rights, war, pestilence, but usually that anger is because we've been made to feel insecure, uncomfortable, confused. Anger is almost always about ourselves. Besides, feelings of anger — like feelings of fear, jealously, even happiness — leave little room for reflection and adjustment. Sorrow does. Sorrow turns our thoughts and feelings inward. We ponder, we try to understand, we change...But sorrow is how we grow, expand our horizons and see more clearly. The pains of sorrow are almost always growing pains. No one enjoys it. No one seeks it out. But it has a purpose.

Now to some of my own thoughts-ANGER is a reaction, while SORROW can be an action. Trying to cope with what happened, sorting it out in your mind without blaming someone else which can lead to FORGIVENESS and moving on with your life. For example-my divorce 35 years ago because of an unfaithful husband after 10 years of marriage and 3 children. The perfect opportunity for ANGER to enter and justifiably so, but did that help my growth as a single parent or my HEALING? No...then came the gift of FORGIVENESS from a loving Father and I felt the weight of the world lift from my shoulders. I could move on without lingering thoughts or voices wanting REVENGE or expressing ANGER towards my former spouse.

A few more Jerry thoughts: Anger closes doors. Sorrow opens doors — it opens the doors into the lives of others, the realms of revelation and the doors into our deeper selves. If something good didn't come from sorrow, what would be its point?

I think it's all part of the grieving process that happens often in our lives. The Stages of Grieving, according to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, are: DENIAL, ANGER, BARGAINING, DEPRESSION, and finally ACCEPTANCE. Writing about the process to work through your feelings can help clean out your mind and get you back on track again into a happier frame of mind. (Images from www.clipart.com.)