Article # 106 Important Firsts

As our first son grew and developed, we carefully recorded each first: rolling over, sitting up, standing up, walking, first word, first smile, first tooth, etc. All the details were written down in his baby scrapbook, then letters and photos were shared with doting grandparents who lived many states away. Other firsts would come: first fall, trip to the doctor for immunizations, tantrums, use of the word “no,” and other unmentionables like playing in the toilet or running around naked. Later babies would not get the same amount of attention as our firstborn because life was too busy as more children were added to our family. (Photo of our firstborn with his Hatch grandparents.)

Interestingly enough, childhood diseases came our way despite umpteen immunizations. My oldest son got the chicken pox and gave it to me when I was 7 months pregnant with his brother. That wasn’t fun. Seems that I, as an only child, had somehow avoided many common childhood illnesses. I quickly discovered that moms are expected to be trained nurses. Knowing how to diagnose and treat a wide variety of diseases. Plus caring for and cleaning up after sick members of the family in spite of other responsibilities was my job.

Eventually with three active sons, we made at least one trip a month to the ER mostly for stitches usually on the head or face of my rough and tumble boys. Just a simple swing at the playground could turn into a speedy and expensive visit to the hospital. Ever try to hold a wiggly little kid down who definitely doesn’t want anyone near with needles as the doctor tries to stitch his cut back together? It’s not easy as you try not to cry as your child is hurt and screaming to the high heavens. (Sons #1 and 2-Daniel and Frank.)

In my day, they had a cradle board to wrap around the injured child to keep them still. I can remember my second son who innocently fell off the seat at a picnic table and cut his lip. Of course we rushed him to the hospital and had a special plastic surgeon put in the stitches above his lip. That was accomplished but in returning weeks later to get the stitches out, my son would not hold still and reopened the wound. I began to dread each day wondering who would fall on the coffee table or going down steps. You can’t child proof your life.

Little Voices

I've been keeping track of the negative LITTLE VOICES in my head and what they are trying to tell me. It's amazing: that was stupid, you can't do that, this is dumb, you're getting behind, you didn't...(fill in the blank,) oh no-I'm in trouble again, now what? and you're wasting your time again.

Have you tried listening to the voices in your head/mind/body/spirit? Ever wonder where they come from? Well the UNIVERSE is full of OPPOSITION, the yin/yang effect but somehow the more strident voices are LOUDER, more DEMANDING that the encouraging ones. BUT when you can become aware of what is happening inside YOU, and deal with the negatives by either overwhelming them with positive evidence to the contrary or just laugh at their antics, YOU can open your airwaves to more positive thoughts, INSPIRATION and encouragement to direct your life in new ways.

I know this is TRUE and not just make believe because I have been journaling my experiences as part of Kirk Duncan's-Little Voice Management class that I'm taking. I'm getting quieter inside and I can actually hear more of the POSITIVE comments that can inspire and help me live more fully. It's AMAZING! Try it, you'll be glad you did.

Finding ROOTS

How amazing it is to trace your roots back in time. I found my Vernon ancestral home in Derbyshire, England recently, and then with more help from www.ancestry.com I found where my husband's FLOYD family comes from-Wales. (Photo from wikipedia.) I know nothing about that country except it is next to England and the people there speak a very strange language.

I'm told Wales has wild and picturesque landscapes and they speak a strange language called Welsh. Here's an example: P'nawn da! Sut wyt ti? Dw i'n trio dysgu siarad Cymraeg. This is how the Internet translated that: Blunt ' we do good! Manner you are being you? Dw I ' heartburn triads learn speak Welsh. (It loses something in translation. Lol) The country has quite a vast history from Celtic to Anglo Saxons, vikings and Romans who have tried to settle in the area. Would love to visit it one day.

Nature Notes-Busy Hummingbirds

Small little birds
with flapping wings
that move so fast,
just like lightning.

They dart here and there,
sucking sweet nectar
from our bird feeder,
like a small beggar.

Greedy little things,
they all love sugar
or flower pollen,
but they don't share.

I enjoy watching
their antics as they fly
busily about,
chasing others away.

Spring cleaning my mind

As I'm trying to clean out the negative thoughts in my mind, I got to thinking about the role of ANGER and SORROW in our lives. Then I read this article in the Desert News by Jerry Johnston-local columnist in an article entitled "Sorrow is Ingredient for Growth" that caught my eye.

In the article, Jerry tells us: We see a lot of anger today about the direction of society; but I've never trusted anger, not in myself, not in others. Anger may be righteous, but behind its face lurks self-interest. We may claim to be angry over immigration, gay rights, war, pestilence, but usually that anger is because we've been made to feel insecure, uncomfortable, confused. Anger is almost always about ourselves. Besides, feelings of anger — like feelings of fear, jealously, even happiness — leave little room for reflection and adjustment. Sorrow does. Sorrow turns our thoughts and feelings inward. We ponder, we try to understand, we change...But sorrow is how we grow, expand our horizons and see more clearly. The pains of sorrow are almost always growing pains. No one enjoys it. No one seeks it out. But it has a purpose.

Now to some of my own thoughts-ANGER is a reaction, while SORROW can be an action. Trying to cope with what happened, sorting it out in your mind without blaming someone else which can lead to FORGIVENESS and moving on with your life. For example-my divorce 35 years ago because of an unfaithful husband after 10 years of marriage and 3 children. The perfect opportunity for ANGER to enter and justifiably so, but did that help my growth as a single parent or my HEALING? No...then came the gift of FORGIVENESS from a loving Father and I felt the weight of the world lift from my shoulders. I could move on without lingering thoughts or voices wanting REVENGE or expressing ANGER towards my former spouse.

A few more Jerry thoughts: Anger closes doors. Sorrow opens doors — it opens the doors into the lives of others, the realms of revelation and the doors into our deeper selves. If something good didn't come from sorrow, what would be its point?

I think it's all part of the grieving process that happens often in our lives. The Stages of Grieving, according to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, are: DENIAL, ANGER, BARGAINING, DEPRESSION, and finally ACCEPTANCE. Writing about the process to work through your feelings can help clean out your mind and get you back on track again into a happier frame of mind. (Images from www.clipart.com.)

Conquering Little Voices

We all have little voices inside us that
try to sabotage us with their suggestions.
Negative comments that can derail us
or get our attention and consideration.

In order to conquer their destructive ideas,

we need to first be aware of what they say.

Write down exactly what you are hearing

or feeling inside then change it to two positives.

Example-you hear...You are really dumb.
My action is to write that down and then
write two opposite positives like I'm really
quite smart but do make mistakes sometimes.

Or you can react with humorous comments
like: Aren't we all a little dumb now and then?
But I don't plan on remaining that way for long
with your help. Thanks so much for the insights.

A sense of humor+self awareness does help.
Don't live life in numbness or self berating.
You deserve better. Conquer those voices,
take control of you and direct your thoughts.

Become your own best friend and cheerleader!

Daring to Try

I find myself becoming more daring and entering my original poems and writings to contests and to be displayed. It helps me refine my writings just to work towards submitting them. In May our local Heritage Writer's Guild had an invitation to attend an exhibit at Dixie State College and then create some poetry based on the featured artist's work. I had no idea what to expect, but it was a wonderful experience to see the work of J. Kirk Richards who also has a website (photos from his website). His exhibit at the Sears Art Gallery locally features angels in sculptures and paintings. As I sat and contemplated his art, words flowed onto the pad before me and captured my feelings about his creations.

THE ROAD AHEAD I

by Lin Floyd

The road ahead

awaits untraveled.

Open and inviting, yet

unknown dangers are near.

Slowly the journey begins

with just one brave step

on the unfamiliar path.

No directions are seen,

nor maps to find the way.

Follow the inner compass,

let it guide you back to me.

ANGEL COMFORTING II

by Lin Floyd

Just arrived from death’s sudden farewell,
she despairs for all that was left behind on earth:
loving family, dear friends and her very purpose for being.

Greeted by a winged guardian sent to comfort,
she is shown a new life: one without care, pains or trials,
but separate from her mortal life.

She whispers to herself, “Can I adjust?”

ANGEL (SENTINEL)

by Lin Floyd

Sentinel angels silently guard the way into eternity.

Praising God while watching to give assistance

to newcomers arriving at heaven’s gate.

Lost, yet drawn forward, leaving behind earthly cares,

released by death’s sudden clasp,

they are filled with awe and wonder.

What lies ahead in this glorious place where gods dwell?

PLASTER SCULPTURES-ANGELS

by Lin Floyd

No wings needed, I can move quickly without them.

Though earthlings don’t understand that.

Men talk of the necessity of wings to travel so far,

from heaven’s extremes to whisper

counsel and advice to your heart.

Yet you can sense my presence near,

bringing comfort and counsel from above.

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you.

Not as the world giveth, give I unto you.

Let not your heart be troubled neither let it be afraid.1

His peace I bring unto you.

1 John 14:27

Article #105 More Children?

Then comes the important question for new parents, when to have the next child? I know of some new fathers so excited by the birth of their first offspring have exclaimed to their wife who has just given birth: This is so marvelous, we just have to have another child as soon as WE can. Of course the overwhelmed new mother who has not yet recovered from childbirth has no interest going through another nine months of an "out of body experience" for anyone. The idea of more children will have to be expressed later at a more appropriate time when the memories of the labor and delivery have disappeared from her mind. (Photo above of baby #2 Daniel with his older brother Frank.)

Pioneers with limited or no birth control never had to discuss this issue, mothers nursed their babies. When they stopped nursing they became pregnant again. Like clockwork almost every two years until menopause was reached or the mother died in childbirth, which many of them did. But we were a modern couple and decided to space our children so child #2 was born 3 years after his older brother. However, child #3 slipped in 15 months later and was surprisingly also a boy!

Life was busy with three little boys. Of course when growing up as an only child and wanting to be a ballerina, I had always dreamed of having five little girls to teach dancing to. Instead I was given all boys, that I have always loved dearly. So much for girl’s names, although I certainly had lots of names in mind, but Lisa, Julia and April Spring didn’t fit my baby boys’ personalities. (Dancing was replaced by scouting and soccer when they grew older.)

Being a parent was a lot more work and responsibility than I had ever imagined. I discovered that when my child was sick or crying, there was no one else to care for them. Being a family was a total service project and changing dirty diapers was not fun. Somehow it had been much easier playing house and mommy to my quiet docile dolls as a young girl. My hubby did help, but he wasn’t always there with his classes and working to support us. I also worked part time and discovered that I was responsible for finding competent baby sitters if hubby wasn’t available when I had to teach or be away from my children for any reason. (Photo of oldest son Frank meeting brother #3 Brook.)

Vernon Ancestral Home

Got these terrific photos of Derbyshire, England from a new Vernon relative Dick Bateman I met yesterday via the Internet on www.ancestry.com. He lives close to that area. So fun to see where my 2nd great grandfather Francis Vernon lived with his family before they were converted to the Mormon church and immigrated to Rockport, Utah in 1869. Photos on picasa. Click to see more.

Vernon homestead in Dove Holes, England

Vision Board

"Takes 3 things to get a vision board up and running!

1. A wall (I used a white erase board on the right of my computer desk above)

2. Tape - Tape a square on your wall to indicate where you Vision Board area is.

3. A picture of something you want or want to happen (I use magnets and word cards)

Tadaaa! You have a vision board. Put tape on the back of your picture and put it inside the taped area on your wall. Every morning look at it for 2 minutes. Every night look at it for 2 minutes. You rock! Now the Visual part of your mind is being activated! Well done! Get it done today!" Kirk Duncan Mentor/Trainer 3 Key Elements-Body Language Workshop

P.S. It works, probably because it focuses you on a few specific goals and you post it in plain sight. When you achieve your want, then you take it down and put the card/picture in a notebook to remind you of your successes. New wants can be added at anytime.

Happy Father's Day

Today is a day for thanking those men in our life

that are part of our families: spouses, sons, dads,

grandpas, brothers, uncles, and also dear cousins.

Extending out to religious leaders, teachers

and other exemplary males that we can

look up to and admire for their good qualities.

Those men who serve us, protect and guide us

during our lifetime here on earth. And, of course,

our Heavenly Father who has sent us here.

And probably the greatest exemplar of true

manhood-Jesus Christ, who loved us enough

to give His life to atone for our sins.

A Blogging Award

Thanks to a new friend Millie for this "Beautiful Blogger Award" for serving the public by "sharing my talents and creativity." It's always fun when others notice your efforts to make a difference through blogging. Her admonition to her three winners is to select three other winners, and to continue to "enrich us with your inspirational words."

With that advice I'd like to select three individuals whose blogs inspire me with their great beauty and insights:

1. Sandy-she is an excellent photographer and I always look forward to the poetry she writes to accompany her photos.

2. Michelle-who loves nature and living things. I've learned so much from her blog.

3. Kavita from India who so willingly and lovingly shares her culture and history with all of us.

Hopefully you'll check out their sites and they will continue this Beautiful Blogger Award by forwarding it to three of their favorite blogs for you to visit.

June 18, 1945

Sixty-five years ago today

my father left this earth.

A victim of an accident

while flying his small airplane.

Leaving us all behind,

suddenly we were alone.

My mom a widow, and me

fatherless at age five.

Fate or circumstances or

God's will...whatever it was

doesn't change the reality

of many lonely years for our family.

My mom finally rejoined

my father three years ago.

Now my sweet aunt Gladys at age 95

(the mom in photo above)

on June 11, 2010 has joined them.

Separated by death from her

sweetheart after 40 years of

marriage. A reunion has

come for this loving couple.

Flag Day-June 14th

It's a time of GRATITUDE

for home and country.

So many OPPORTUNITIES provided,

but taken for granted.

FREEDOM to come and go,

and worship freely.

Yes, our nation has PROBLEMS,

but also the RESOURCES

to meet them.

If we come together

in UNITY and strength

to work cooperatively on SOLUTIONS.

A Promise of Blooming

Tightly wrapped buds swell

breaking forth into glorious

multi-colored blossoms

fulfilling their potential

with promises of fruit to come.

I gave birth to sons,

fathers in embryo,

hoping they will bloom

while I can watch over them.

Knowing it isn't always possible,

generations of families have passed on

before I came. Leaving their fruits for me

to discover and build upon.

Someday, we each will experience that mystery

called death that calls us all home.

It may come unexpectedly and suddenly,

for others it will be after much suffering

and a slow passage of time.

The mystery of what lies ahead

is revealed only to those who depart.

New blossoms burst forth

as grandchildren replace the aged ones

who have lived their lives so fully.

Not wanting to leave us,

they reluctantly leave for home

and loved ones who have been waiting

for them in the next estate.

Making room for new growth

and continuing the cycle

of life called family,

generations without end.

Power's Off

Boom, lightning strikes. Power flickers.
More lightning, power’s off.
Gone, sudden darkness all around.
Life stops, no TV, no lights,
no power anywhere in the house.
A few beeps, then nothing.
Confusion reigns as life stops.

What next? Flashlights needed,
matches and candles are located.
A primitive glow comes to replace

the normal hum of modern society.
Luckily it is close to bedtime.

After a candle lit shower,
there are no switches to turn off.

Just a quick breath of air
to extinguish the few candles.
A warm bedroom awaits, as our

air conditioner’s hum is gone too.

By morning, power is restored again.

Life returns as we have come to know it.

Article #104 Baby # 2

A year or so after I’d weaned my first child, I discovered I was expecting child #2. Although I wasn’t sure I was up to the challenge of nine months of pregnancy and childbirth again, I didn’t want my first son to be raised as an only child as I had been. Now the problem was to get my toddler potty trained so I didn’t have two children in diapers. That was easier said than done. No one prepares you for this experience before mother-hood either. I found it was extremely time consuming to potty train a child or a pet. And I’d never done either before. Time to go back to the Dr. Spock books plus ask questions of other inexperienced first time mothers like myself. (Photo-my oldest son Frank was almost 3 when his brother Daniel was born.)

At that time there were no disposable diapers, unfortunately they weren’t commonly used in the 1960s. So I had the memorable task of rinsing out any soiled diapers in the toilet, then soaking them in a covered diaper pail until washday. Modern mothers certainly are missing a unique experience, as few today even know that cloth diapers once existed. They are busy contributing to the filling up our many landfills.

My cloth diapers had to be washed, then dried on a clothesline. I know most moms today don’t even know what a clothes line or pins are for other than closing off potato chip bags. After air drying outside unless you had a modern electric or gas dryer, diapers had to be meticulously folded to fit the ever-changing size of your baby’s bottom.

I was motivated to get my toddler out of diapers, but discovered that potty training techniques was dependent on me being an observant mother and spending all my waking hours asking my son if he wanted to sit on the potty. I think I was the one being trained. What had seemed fun as a little girl playing with my dolls and pretending to be a mom was now only hard work and tedious.

Babies grow and change so quickly, that many sets of clothing for different sizes were required. Seems I was always changing my son’s clothes for some reason or other, then they needed to be washed too. Of course all these clothes when out grown were carefully stored away for the next little one. (Photo-Daniel and big brother Frankie-it helped having all boys to pass down their outgrown clothes.)

Anniversary #17

At the rate I'm going with anniversaries,

it may not be in this life that I reach my

golden 50th wedding commemoration as

I will turn 70 next month, but I'm trying.

Only 33 more years to go so I'm hanging

in there. I've always thought those of us

who have been divorced should just be able to add up

the total years we've been married, and then party.

Let's see all together I've been married for

41 total years that's very close to 50 years

so I'd only have 9 more years to go. Then

there's my hubby, he was married 28 years.

Then divorces got us both off track, but we

neither of us gave up on the institution of marriage.

Here we are totally committed to each other

and strengthening our large blended family.

Rainbow Bridge Cruise

Negative Self Talk again

This seems to be a favorite topic of mine. I wonder why? Maybe because we all do it? We listen to the VOICES in our heads that are mostly negative-that criticize and say discouraging things to each of us. I'm taking a class right now called the DOT PEOPLE by Kirk Duncan. He has given us the assignment (1) to write down all the negative self talk we discover inside ourselves daily. Then we are (2) to counter that with two items in a new statement that is the opposite of our negative statement. Here's an example of mine:

I. You waste a lot of time. The opposite: I've accomplished a lot lately and I'm amazed. Another example:

2. I'm not confident in who I am. The opposite: I reach out to others and really care about them. (Confidence will come in time-a little inspiration there.)

Focus on the positive statement and see what feelings are created inside of you. And lastly (3) fill yourself with gratitude for the things you LOVE by writing them down. My list for today includes: early morning peace, time alone, secure financial situation, opportunities, and a body that is healthy. We are to continue doing this assignment daily. I can already see and feel changes happening inside of me. As I clear out the NEGATIVE VOICES, I will be open to receiving more INSPIRATION for living my life better. Try it, and you'll find out as Kirk always says: You are amazing!

P.S. Check out my poem My Sanctuary on my blog yesterday, it is related to this topic.

My Sanctuary

At a poetry workshop in March we were challenged to write down a list of words as a poet read his piece, then we were to use those words to make our own poem. It was an interesting assignment. My words were: apathy, strangle, discontent, mystery, shadow, dodges, lone and excuses. (Photo was taken in the Mohave desert in April.)

I lay still, strangled by excuses.

No words escape my lonely lips.

Shadows cover my reality,

dodging my discontent.

Mysteries dwell within eclipses,

hidden from my steps.

No chance for any empathy,

only inner malcontent.

Then it appears, a smile escapes,

reality returns and keeps

breaking down my apathy.

I am back, no more absent.

Revisions

I'm still editing my children's book of nature poems before submitting it in a contest for League of Utah Writers. It gets better with each revision and I'm wondering if I'll EVER be finished with it. I have changed the title some and the author line. Guess at some point you just say OKAY, I'm DONE! So you can just move on.

I have several topics in mind for my next projects. One is a book for my grandchildren about our great pioneer heritage in relationship to Nauvoo which holds a special place in the hearts of all Latter-day Saints. It's where we build a city beautiful and a temple, the gathering place for Saints who were converted from throughout the world, and the city where the prophet Joseph Smith lived before he was martyred, killed by a faceless mob while he was being held in the Carthage jail on false charges.

I feel an urgency to share my feelings and testimony about these important events and show the part some of our ancestors played in this great historical drama that proceeded the Latter-day Saints or Mormons being driven from Nauvoo in the middle of winter and making the long journey out of the United States into Indian territory; finally settling in the great Salt Lake valley in what would later become the Utah territory and eventually the state of Utah. It's a great heritage. We all have our family stories that need to be recorded and shared with our descendants wherever we are from.

Another project I have in mind is combining some of my nature photos from throughout the years with original poetry. I have written so much over the years. It's stashed here and there but I would like to collect and revise my poems and free verses into a publishable format and gift for my family. So it will be a busy summer at my computer along with some planned family reunions and celebrations. What are your plans for summer?

Happy Birthday-Katherine

One of four sisters full of life,

raised with love and adventures.

Living in many places in the west,

always together as a family then.

Now she's a mom in New Mexico

raising three children and a garden

plus doing daycare and supporting

her national guard recruiter husband.

Article #103 Parenting

Unfortunately new babies or spouses don’t come with a handbook of in- structions, but grandmothers and other new mothers are always full of advice. (Photo on left, me, my mom and seated my grandmother with my newborn son.) I relied on Dr. Benjamin Spock not of the Star Wars variety but an expert in the 1960s on raising children. Just like I would consult a cookbook to know how to fix dinners, I was thankful to have some expert advice on how to raise our child. There was so much to learn, how to hold the baby, bathe and feed him plus survive as a new mother.

My newborn wouldn’t sleep in his crib, this after we had made the move to a more spacious two-bedroom apartment. After nursing him usually in my bed during the early morning hours, I’d fall asleep and so would the baby. Then trying to get him back into his cold crib didn’t work. The moment I laid him down in his room, of course, he would awake and scream waking up the neighbors, but not my sleeping husband the new father.

Turning to Dr. Spock’s advice, he encouraged new parents to “be firm.” Feed the baby then place him gently in his crib, leave the room and don’t return. Of course, the well-trained baby knows that if he cries long enough, mom or dad will come to the rescue. Trying to change this established behavior pattern wasn’t easy. I remember as a new mom crying as my baby cried, because I was trying to get him to go back to sleep in his own bed and not mine. It eventually worked, but it was one of the hardest lessons of parenting I’d ever tackled. (Photo of my firstborn son, we both look tired.)

The first child is a practice model, I learned lots from him and hoped I wouldn’t make the same mistakes on future siblings. Well, guess what? Each succeeding child is different. Something that worked on the first child won’t necessarily work for the next one. I found this out the hard way. Maybe I know now why my mom only had one child.

Mother-in-laws now grandmothers were immediately on the scene, especially since our child was their first grandchild on both sides of the family. They came to help although I’m not sure how much having them tripping over each other in a one bedroom apt is help. But come they did, with lots of unsolicited advice.

As our son was blest in church and given a name, I finally felt like we were a real family. Life was good, but changes would come with more children.

Happy Birthday-Rachel

My newest daughter-in-law who is in Sweden at the moment with her husband, my youngest son Jeff, and their new daughter Lorien. They are visiting Jeff's father who is gravely ill. We kind of celebrated her birthday last week with my twin grand daughter's birthday when we all went out to breakfast at IHOP and spend some time remembering family at the cemetery. She is remembered today.

Published almost...

Well, two years ago this July I was so excited to received notification that my article I submitted to our church magazine was going to be published AND they paid me $100 for it. I waited and waited and waited to see it in print BUT nothing happened. Then this past month my Bishop congratulated me on my article to be printed in the Ensign. The staff had called him to make sure I was a member of the Church. Well, this month I am in the ENSIGN magazine. But only my name is in an article written by someone else on the uses of the Internet. How disappointing and how FUNNY because they also refer to me as a HE not a SHE. LOL!

Here's the exact quote...from p. 14-One member, Lin Floyd of Utah, USA, created a family history Web site with ancestors’ photos and histories. His Web site and others like it have helped people learn more about the Church and its doctrine. That's it for my 5 seconds of glory, but I did cash the check for $100! Check out my family history website-it only took me 10+ years to complete it with my ancestor's photos and histories.

Dreams

Saw this quote on www.oprah.com by Eleni Gabre-Madhin from Ethiopia: We spend most of our lives cutting down our ambitions because the world has told us to think small. Dreams express what your soul is telling you, so as crazy as your dream might seem—even to you—I don't care: You have to let that out.

My dream has always been to have a close knit loving family but through numerous divorces and miscommunications we are far from that; but I still hold on to that dream-perhaps sometime in the eternities when we look back at this short time we are on earth together, there will be that moment of understanding and unity. What is your dream?

One more thought from Maya Angelou, famous black woman poet: And as Angelou once said, "History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again."