Expressing your frustrations through writing a letter to someone involved can be healthy. It’s a safe place for you to work through your frustrations. but don’t send the letter. I wrote to a former spouse expressing my feelings about our divorce. After rereading my words, I wrote a response to myself from this person to try to see his possible point of view. This process may surprise you with new understandings.
When I was five years old, my father died in an airplane accident. There’s always been an empty place in my life. A few years ago, I decided to write a healing letter to my long absent father expressing my loneliness and longing to have him near. This activity helped me release many pent up emotions. Then, I decided to write a response from his viewpoint to my letter. It was enlightening to try to imagine his feelings about being suddenly separated by death from his family at age 29. How lonely he must have felt and wanting to communicate, but unable. This whole process was cathartic for me.
Instead of writing a letter you could just use your journal to examine the lessons or strengths you are gaining from a difficult situation. Say you are recently widowed. Your loss is great after years of loving companionship. You wonder how you will continue on alone. Try writing about these emotions in your journal. Then, write a possible response from your spouse’s viewpoint. What advice or comfort would your loved one give you? Is it possible for this time in your life to be full of personal growth that wouldn’t have happened if you were still together?