Probably the most anticipated event in any young woman’s life is that day when she will meet her Prince Charming, fall in love, prepare for her wedding and its activities which can include: finding a date and place for the wedding, buying or making a wedding dress, selecting bridesmaids and their attire, organizing the guest list, designing-printing-mailing the announcements, scheduling a wedding brunch or dinner, catering and decorating for the reception or open house. Most of this work can be planned out by the bride years in advance as she dreams of her special day. All she needs is a willing male. (Photo of my first boyfriend redheaded and freckled Jerry-we meet before kindergarten and planned to marry some day, but I moved away and he changed drastically.)
The groom needs to purchase the wedding rings, propose and hope his intended accepts, endure all the planning, changes and stresses associated with getting married, not forgetting the flowers, the wedding gift, photographer, and honeymoon plans plus a place to live after the marriage. Forgotten are the days of asking the bride’s father for his permission for his daughter’s hand in marriage.
There is a way to simplify all this, just ELOPE. A justice of the peace married my parents secretly one night while they were suppose to be at a dance. After the ceremony that evening, they had a waffle party with friends then everyone returned home as if nothing had happened. The purpose of keeping their wedding a secret was because my dad didn’t have a job at the time. They were both 18, high school graduates and living at home. They kept their elopement a secret for about a month. My mom’s little sister suspected something was up when she discovered a new wedding band hidden under a plate in the china closet. Needless to say, my grandma was not happy when she found out her daughter had eloped but she made the best of it because she liked my dad. An open house celebration for the happy couple was held, then my mom moved in with her in-laws while my dad worked on the railroad. (Photo of my girl friend Marilyn and me on the right playing dressup at age 8-9.)
Some wedding traditions long forgotten are trousseaus and hope chests where the young woman gathered together items to use in her new home and to wear in her new role in society. She needed quilts, linens, pots and pans, dishes, china, silverware, etc. Nowadays young couples just register for these items and hope to get them or exchange wedding gifts for what they need and want.
The first picture brought a smile to my face...it is too cute.Your parent's story is very interesting.Well, as a kid ,my mom would always encourage me to embroider my own dining set(table cloth and napkins) and other things like crochet work..which i did and carried with me when i got married.Collecting such hand made stuff was a fun thing to do.
ReplyDeleteSIGH... I miss the "good ol days". I had a hope chest, and I bought one for my daughter when she was a young teen. It was such fun to collect pretty items for the time when we would become a bride.
ReplyDeleteAnother great story. You must have a room completely dedicated to storing your photographs. You have such a treasury of them.
I remember seeing a young couple in a department store just scanning whatever they saw and liked. Made me sick. They had no respect for the people who would buy the stuff and what it took them to earn the money to make the gift. The art of waiting...We need it.
ReplyDeleteI'm not fond of the modern style of going to a store and scanning "stuff" for the bridal registry. Most of it is impersonal and way too expensive.
ReplyDeleteAnd the whole "big wedding" idea, or should I say "big party" has really gotten oput of hand. It smacks of wedding competition. And most couples are living together before the wedding anyway.
I loved your story:) I had a hope chest with only a few things for my future married life. Now its full of blankets and quilts. I'm going to help my girls make things to put away in their hope chests. Great post!:)
ReplyDeleteI too had a hope chest. I wonder if girls today even know what one is? And as for the bridal registries, its almost as if the couple expect to get it all! What happened to waiting and appreciating things when one worked hard to earn it? As for receptions I have heard some cost as much as my first home cost!Anyhow, I eloped for my second marriage!
ReplyDeleteWow...your parents were brave...I like a small traditional wedding..not all the stuff that is done today..interesting post Lin..
ReplyDeleteWeddings are such a grand production costing big bucks, and it's over in hours. I often wish they would think ahead and use all that money as a down payment on a house.
ReplyDeleteI love the nostalgia those pictures bring. I surely miss the old practices in weddings. I always believe that weddings are for brides.
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