Romantic love, platonic love, family love, unconditional love…love makes the world go round and makes it worthwhile living. Our parents lead the way showering us with love before we are even born then raising and teaching us in love, hopefully showing us an example of love that never wavers. Parents who are always there for us through our disappointments, mistakes, failures and even sometimes disobedient teenage years. Parents who we really take for granted until we become a parent and realize all the labor, patience and dedication required 24/7 to care for just one little baby. 
Then add some siblings and it becomes more complicated as there are more relationships within the family to develop. Jealousies, disagreements and misunderstandings will arise from time to time. Parents take upon themselves the role of disciplinarian and judge at times but always with unconditional love. Probably the most challenging time as a parent is during the teen years when your child suddenly has a mind of their own and no longer looks to you as the all knowing one with answers but challenges and questions your beliefs, actions and attempts to discipline them. What happens when your child rebels against all that you stand for? That’s the real test of parenting giving the whole process time and continuing to express unconditional love and a listening ear.
Too soon the empty nest years are here and all the tremendous time and effort to teach your child to be an adult are now tested as they go out on their own to work, go to college, get married or other activities. Hopefully the parent hasn’t given all their life’s energies to developing a child into an adult but has taken time along the way to develop their own interests, hobbies, talents and friends so the empty nest years are more enjoyable. Then come the grandchildren as your children repeat all the lessons you had to learn as a parent about love and patience. How to get the baby back to sleep when they wake up, how to be calm as you are entering the emergency room for the second time in the same month with a crying child to have stitches again, and other necessary duties like cleaning up innumerable messes, washing load after load of clothes, cooking meal after meal, attending practices, games, school conferences, plays, etc. etc. etc. But it's all worth it and part of the life course called Parenting or Love 101.
fun pictures. why is it that pictures always make up look young and mirrors don't. Why isn't what's in my head, in the mirror?
ReplyDeleteI think many of the lessons I learned about loving, patience, forgiving, and tolerance were learned at a young age as I shared my home, my parents, and my friends with my siblings. I had to be very forgiving of a parent who took sides with a brother who "set me up" over and over again. I learned to trust my dad to protect me from any harm and to provide for my temporal needs. I learned to trust my mother's instincts about my association with friends, wearing make-up, even what book to write a report on for my sophmore English class.
ReplyDeleteSharing a bathroom with my sister's and brother prepared me to share a tube of toothpaste with a man who squeezes in the middle, never replaces the empty toilet paper roll, and puts the milk bottle back in the fridge with no more than a teaspoon of milk left in it.
I had grown accustomed to living in a small space with several different personalities. How to eat food that wasn't a favorite because my turn to pick what we had for dinner was coming Tuesday night... I'd choke down a portion of the yukky stuffed french rolls that my sister loved so much, because she'd have to swallow mother's meatloaf that I couldn't wait for and she could barely stomach. Taking turns, and waiting for my turn was second nature to me. I shared my bed with a sister who stole the covers and ate cookies in bed. (I'd wake up in the middle of the night the entire month of January feeling something like a breaded popsicle..)
I think being an only child could possibly leave you somewhat unprepared for sharing a home with 5 or 6 differing opinions, tastes, and ideas about what constitutes a clean kitchen. My guess is that the give and take of a household of children all tugging at each other, talking at once, and vying for attention would be a strange thing to adjust to.
Even my college room mates were a training ground for being a wife and mother. I spent several months living with several young women who never did thier own dishes, washed the ring out of the bath tub, or vacuumed a rug. It was infuriating. But, I learned to suck it up and just do what needed to be done to make the house more presentable and living in it more pleasant.
So... by the time I had babies who had grown tall enough to put their dirty cereal bowls in the sink, co-ordinated enough to fold their own clothes, and smart enough to do their own homework... I already had experience in dealing with the fact that being tall enough, co-ordinated enough, or smart enough, wansn't always a prerequisite to getting the task at hand done. Patience and tolerance had been learned earlier.
It was the joy of children, and the depth of love that I would feel for them that I wasn't prepared for. I don't know of anything that can prepare you for the overwhelming, empowering and yet powerless feelings that envelope you when you hold your first born child in the silence of night. No one told me how much I would give to ensure their safety and happiness. I didn't have any idea how deeply I could hurt for their sorrows... and how full of light my soul would be when I watched them giggle in play and sleeping peacefully lying next to one another.
Being a parent is a gift. And when our little ones had grown and had little ones of their own, watching them wipe noses, read to a pre-schooler, and tuck their babes in at bedtime is one of the greatest joys I will ever experience.