Being a bad example can be
good. Sharing with your children and grandchildren mistakes and choices you
made in life, how you responded, and what it taught you can be worthwhile
advice. I remember listening to my mom tell about her dating experiences in
high school when I was a teen and not dating. Much of what we learn in life can
come vicariously from watching or
learning from others’ experiences; not having to go through the same situations.
Seeing the results of their choices. then committing to live differently. It’s
important to write your life story to preserve the lessons you learned the hard
way. Some of your descendents will read and learn from your experiences. (My grandma Johnson's life story was an anchor to me as she struggled as a widowed single parent.)
Somehow
I never got into the drug scene as a teen, but did watch others in my family
deal with those issues. Drunkenness held no fascination for me as I watched it
lead others to questionable choices. I was raised in a conservative culture
that protected me in many ways. For a while in Junior College, I was involved
with the world of theatre. While exciting and creative, it also had its
drawbacks as I observed the lives of many frustrated performers trying to find
fulfillment in unorthodox ways. Watching their questionable behavior, I learned
without following their path that there must be a better way. I remember being
shocked how the real world lived
after my graduation from high school as a naïve teenager.
Positive
examples of others as we interacted led me to make decisions that determined
who I would marry, what college I would attend, etc. The quiet examples of my
grandparents long lasting marriage (see photo on right of my Vernon grandparents on their wedding day) and the unchanging old-fashioned values that
my mom raised me with were an anchor to my life and a guide through the
challenges that always come.
Our
example to others speaks louder than we think. How important is the
advice we could write and leave for our unknown posterity. My youngest grandchildren
don’t know my mother, their great grandmother, because she died before they
were born. But the history of her life that she wrote is an example that can be
passed on to them. If I could leave anything for my descendents if would be that
I believe in a higher power and hope for a better world. My faith in ultimate
truth and purpose in living has sustained me throughout my life. NEXT TIME:
Overcoming Hopelessness