Article #223 Unfulfilled Dreams

            How many times have your heard the term I regret that…? If as you get older and look back you feel that life hasn’t been fair because of unfulfilled dreams or expectations not met, it helps to become an OBSERVER of your own life. Step back and take an unbiased look at your life. Try to understand how most of your trials became blessings years later. Journaling can help with this process.

            Right now I’m writing a book entitled Discover Your Voice After Divorce. It will be a workbook or journal with prompts or questions to explore to get the reader to examine his or her life a little closer. It focuses on seeing the growth that can come and perhaps did from the devastation that divorce brings to a family and the individuals involved. Whether or not you were the victim or cause of the divorce is irrelevant. Both individuals are forever changed, the dynamics of their lives and their children’s daily existence especially. It is possible to heal, then reflect on wisdom and strength gained from this time or any other disappointment/loss in life.

            My divorce back in 1975 continues to influence who I am today. My self confidence, fears, doubts and even my outlook on life. I don’t regret marrying the individual I did because it made it possible for me to start a family. Becoming a mother was a lifelong goal I’d had since a young girl. Since my father died when I was five, I always wanted to be part of an intact family which I had for 11 years until my divorce. Looking back I can remember the pain of the betrayal I felt with the breakup of my fairy tale marriage OR I can focus on the joys and happiness of giving birth and being a mom responsible for raising my sons.

            In term of regrets I could focus on how it felt to be disappointed that I never had a daughter or I can smile at the memories of encouraging my sons in scouting, athletics and hobbies that were definitely masculine. I’m probably more thankful now for daughter-in-laws and grand daughters because of my earlier trials. Unfulfilled dreams are sometimes replaced by surprises that you never could have planned. So accept life as it comes and make new dreams. Be thankful for whatever happens. NEXT TIME: Affirmations and Compliments

Happy Birthday Deborah

Happy Birthday to my amazing oldest step-daughter

Deborah, mother of seven and now grandmother of two.

Be in the NOW MOMENT

It's not easy...expectations can color what we feel

wondering: if only or what ifs... can get you no where fast.

Living in the now moment is not that easy, but it's better

than avoiding reality and letting each moment of life drift by.

Every day is a new gift, an unknown quantity to be revealed,

determined not so much by events but by attitude focused

on what can I learn about me from this experience as I 

interact with others and listen to voices in my mind trying

to derail me and discourage all the forward motion I want

to make. I will learn from mistakes, forgive others and myself.

That's the only way to SELF ACTUALIZATION, becoming all

I can be and giving of my love to everyone in my life.

More Snow Canyon

 Love the sublte colors and textures

Rock climbers-young and energetic

Scarier to come down or go up?

 Surprise...

 A beautiful place in cooler days

Amazing forms and shapes

 Fascinating place

Snow Canyon State Park

Snow Canyon Hike

It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon, temps in the 60s.

After church we took a drive to a nearby state park to hike.

 I love the red rocks of the area near where we live

Interesting footsteps of other hikers leaving their prints

It's fun to try to identify the vegetation

 Behind these cliffs is a small slot canyon

 Made by water erosion, it's narrow

Quite cool inside and interesting formations

 Lots of little cubby holes and designs

 Fascinating shapes everywhere

Like a little fairyland

 Interesting shadows and light plays

More on tomorrow's blog

Holiday Humor

I took my teenage twin grand daughters out to lunch and to BYU's Art Museum for a special time together the day before Thanksgiving. Their younger brother James age 6, overheard us talking about going and said, I want to go the art museum. So I asked him, What is an art museum? And he looked at me with puzzlement on his face and  answered, I don't know. That gave us all a good laugh and a teaching moment to explain about what museums are. It wasn't the place he was interested in, but the extra attention of a grandparent. Times to remember!

When their family comes to visit us in a few weeks on their way to Disneyland before Christmas, we'll all go see Anasazi Ridge nearby where there are lots of petroglyphs that boys will enjoy seeing! Above James was very curious about our Viking ancestors and watched the i-movie I had made about my trip to Iceland. He's a smart little boy! Maybe when he's older I'll take him to an art museum.

Home safely

 Thanksgiving morning omelets-so yummy

 Dan the cook in action!

 Newest grandson Edmund not sure who I am

Edmund started to cry so I returned him to Daddy Jeff 

 Dg-in-law Rachel made some yummy mashed potatoes

 I kept the grandkids busy with art projects

 (l-r) Heather, Lorien and James working creatively,

Nathan was sick and sleeping, Emilee somewhere?

Grandpa's favorite spot-looking for a homestead!

 The brined turkey-so good. Dan and Tina tried some new recipes

Some of the group we filled the table and sandwich bar with Rachel's

family who joined us. With 5 grandkids + nine adults, it was a feast!

The only sad part was Lorien had an

accident on the trampoline and will

have to have a cast on her leg!

(photo by her family)

Article #222 Good Old Days?

            Too many elderly people look fondly back to the good old days when they were younger, healthier and supposedly happier. If you recall with honesty those days, you’ll also remember the pressures, problems and frustrations that went along with raising a family, working fulltime and trying to balance all the demands in life. Maybe they weren’t your best days? Maybe the best time of your life is NOW. This very moment as you are reading this article in a doctor’s office or waiting to get your prescription filled or lamenting with a friend about your current aches and pains. What if you started not looking back or ahead for better days, but filled your heart with gratitude for all you have today.

            You can always find someone worse off than yourself or with bigger challenges no matter their age or location. A positive attitude can take you closer to true happiness than all the complaining in the world. Would you want to live out your days with a grouch or a thankful person? You do live with yourself daily and listen to the non-stop inner voices that can be full of complaints or gratitude. Listen to what goes on inside your head and try writing down your inner dialogue in your personal journal to see if you need to make some changes.

            Is it possible to change? My mom always said…You can’t teach an old dog new tricks. That is true, if the old dog is set in his way and won’t change. However, you are a human being with hopefully higher intellectual abilities and self-control. You can decide to become a better person, if you desire it. So, make today the best day you can. Set a goal to change your attitude, look for others’ lives to bless or reach out and make a new friend. Give a stranger an unexpected compliment and watch a smile light up his or her face as it warms your heart. Life is only as good as you make it despite your prognosis or current old age ailment.

            It will take some practice and self-discipline. Do you really have anything better to do with your time today? While you are at it, reach out to those younger family members who live near or faraway and share your love for them. They may not know that they are living in their good old days. NEXT TIME: Unfulfilled Dreams (Image from www.clipart.com.)

Visiting with Grandkids

Visiting the HATCHES the day before Thanksgiving

 James fixing turkey nametags

 Mom Tina watches James practice the piano

Nathan age 10 loves to make money mowing the lawn 

Making new turkey place cards for tomorrow 

 Going to the BYU Art Museum with the twins

Minerva Taichart painting of women washing

Heather in Andy Warholz Silver Clouds art piece

 Emilee in front of BYU student bird art collage

 The cook, son Daniel making squash, onion casserole

Nathan in mask to protect from onion tears

Giving GIFTS

As the Christmas holiday season is getting closer and all it entails, I've thought about the giving the real gifts of unconditional acceptance and time. It's easy to give money or buy presents, but it means more when we give of ourselves and what is most precious to us. TIME is a limited quantity in our busy world of working, raising families, dealing with daily pressures, etc. How do you give time? Reach out via email, phone or just sit down and talk face to face. I hope to do this during Thanksgiving with my Utah family members. Here's my thoughts on that topic:

THE GIFT OF TIME

Take thought to give a gift,

give some of your time today;

touch others' lives for good.

It takes courage and love,

awareness and effort

to make a difference now.

I remember one Christmas when my family made coupons for each other that could be redeemed for various services like make your bed, help with homework, do your chores, special date or whatever we could figure out that didn't cost money, but would be valued by the receiver. Note that most of these gifts revolved around TIME or giving our labors in behalf of someone else and didn't cost money. 

Thanksgiving Thoughts

It's coming...my favorite holiday!

I'm thankful for Thanksgiving because

it's a family holiday for those who can gather

together to share FOOD, LOVE and TIME-

the most precious gift we can give each other.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING to all!

Brainstorming

Having a fun time, letting my Right Brain come up with ideas for my new WIP (work in progress). It's interesting how that happens. First of all, how the concept for a new book comes. I call it inspiration as I definitely believe in a higher power. It's a book I have to write for me to complete some healing and with the desire to help others with the wisdom I gained from dealing with divorce and all the lessons that entails. If I hadn't journaled and written poetry during that transition I don't think I would have survived intact.

Now I want to share what I've learned in my book DISCOVERING YOUR VOICE AFTER DIVORCE. I never wanted my children to have to face this trial, but it's becoming more common place in our society with about one out of every two marriages ending in divorce which is a disaster. This will be a writing workbook to help men and women who are in the process of divorce to regain their feelings of SELF WORTH and HEAL. In other words a practical self-help book written from an educational viewpoint and from my experience.

Here's how my TABLE of CONTENTS goes: (this material is now copyrighted as I publish it here, but I'm looking for new ideas or additions to make this writing workbook more effective-leave a comment for me with suggestions. My publishing goal is Spring or Summer 2013. I'm having fun using clipart.com to design all my chapter headings...any suggestions?)










INTRODUCTION: Fairy Tales and Other Myths
1. What is VOICE: Each of Us is Unique
2. Inner VOICES: Silence Your Critics
3. Using WORDS: Power of Thoughts and Emotions
4. JOURNALING: Just the Beginning
5. HEALING and RECOVERY: Stages of Grieving-Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance
6. New DREAMS: Anything is Possible
7. Fill Your WELL: Make Time For You
8. YOUTH WORRIES: Am I At Fault?
9. RISKING Again: Use Your Voice
10. SAFETY ZONE: Expect Opposition
11. ACT don't REACT: Be an Observer
12. Finding HOPE: Don't Give Up
APPENDIX: Material on dealing with Abuse, Addictions, etc.