A REAL BIRTH-DAY!

Edmund's name plaque for his bedroom made by grandma!

 Just one week old, little Edmund

Sister Lorien mostly ignores her new brother

while  playing with her new etch a sketch. 

I brought Lorien a quiet book that I made for Jeff, her father
 when he was little. He is sitting behind Lorien, 

 Lorien is fascinated by her new old book.

 He's stretching, maybe he will wake up.

 Holding baby brother with mom Rachel's help.

Happy Grandma gets to hold the little one.

Another BIRTHDAY

The TWINS were 14 yesterday, and they are growing up so FAST.

I think they needed 28 candles not just 14!

Little brothers like to help open birthday presents too.

I bought the twins each a locket that says I love you

and put a photo inside of me and each twin.

Happy Memorial Day at the Veterans Cemetery

 Dan's family came along to honor our departed veteran grandfather

Earl Blomberg who fought in the So. Pacific in WWII.

My uncle Weston was in the army in W.W. II

Honoring my parents with the twins.

My father's parents, my grand parents are buried here.

My mother's parents are buried in a different cemetery.

Article #198 True Friends

             Count yourself lucky or blessed if you have a true friend––a person who loves you unconditionally and accepts you as you are. Most of us can look back and count the number of close friends we’ve had over the years who could always be relied upon to be there with a listening ear and an understanding heart.

            How does one find a person like that and keep their friendship alive? Perhaps you have a spouse or family member who qualifies as a true friend, that’s a double blessing. Usually for women it’s most likely a girl friend and not your spouse who has those empathetic qualities. Although, I know there are sensitive men who could qualify. A son of mine has a kind heart for anyone be it: parent, spouse, child or neighbor. He is a compassionate listener and genuinely cares about what you are feeling.

            With a friend that you trust, you know you can share your closest fears, weaknesses and disappointments. That person will not judge you and will keep your confidence. You are also their trusted friend. The process of sharing your deepest feelings with someone else can be the solution for many problems. Just talking about concerns helps women. Most men automatically want to solve their wife’s problems. They don’t understand that the solution usually comes for her to express her feelings with someone she knows loves and accepts her.

            Advice giving is not needed, but validation is. Sending value to the other person by listening carefully, commenting sensitively and having empathy. I can imagine how that feels, etc. Be the type of friend to the other person that you want to have. Being an only child, I’ve never had a close sibling to be my friend, although I’ve had girl friends that feel like sisters.

            Family should be there to help one another, to believe in one another but sometimes relatives are too close and misunderstandings do happen. Then it’s helpful to have that close friend to call, email or visit with to get centered (at peace) again. Someone you know cares deeply about your welfare and takes time to listen. If you have a friend who only talks about their problems and never listens to you, that can be draining. Perhaps you need to move on and find another person who will be a true friend in every sense of that term. NEXT TIME-Male-Female Differences

Dental Woes

Just returned from the TOTURE chamber;

a session with my dental hygenist.

Scraping my mouth clean, it was so painful!

She said, You MUST brush and floss daily.

Well I never forget to eat, but sometimes

the other part gets forgotten till too late.

Now I’m told the plaque germs are busy

ATTACKING my gums and jaw bone.

Germs aren’t nice and will work for food

especially if someone forgets to brush or

floss after eating that ENABLES them, 

the tooth bugs, to have a big banquet.

Did caveman have this problem or pioneers?

I doubt it, they probably just pulled out

teeth that got cavities or hurt.

TOOTHLESS doesn’t sound fun either.

Changes

I'm reading a new book The Gift of Change: Spiritual Guidance for Living Your Best Life by the author Marianne Williamson who also wrote the popular A Course of Miracles.

 I like this quote of hers though I don't agree with all her New Age philosophy:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

 I thoroughly believe what she states here and try to use it in my teaching creatively and finding my own voice. Have you found your voice?

Article #197 Crazymakers

      There are some individuals that you’ll meet in life or even in your own family that I call crazymakers. Julia Cameron in The Artist’s Way describes them as living in a world of conflict, confusion and chaos. They take everything personally. Any remark you make can be interpreted in a negative way. Despite your apologies and trying to discuss the uneasy relationship between you, they push you away making you feel crazy. I’ve always felt it was possible to talk out any disagreements if you tried hard enough, but not so with crazymakers.

            When a person like this is irrational and trying to take control of a relationship with their emotions, try kindness and patience and not engaging the so-called "enemy." It you don't take the bait or hooks they offer, then they can't trap you in their pity parties or guilt loads. Become an OBSERVER of the situation. Avoid getting emotionally involved; listen and watch how the other person acts and how you react. Try to love them unconditionally and model appropriate behavior. Whenever you engage with a negative person in an argument, there is never a winner. Holding grudges will get you nowhere over time. Try not to be overly defensive, especially in families.

            What if you are the crazymaker? Journaling can be a great help in any relationship to understand your own feelings and be able to develop healthier emotions. Crazy-makers despite their age can be aggressive or passive aggressive-finding ways to manipulate others into doing what they want with their poor me and other techniques. If you are in an abusive relationship of any kind with such a person, you hold the keys to changing your situation as you become aware of how and why you react certain ways.

            Professional counseling is always helpful and talking with a close friend, a loving family member or a trusted spiritual adviser who will listen and counsel you. In some extreme cases, it may be necessary to separate from the crazymaker or put up some protective barriers. Not visiting or interacting with them alone could solve the situation for now. Perhaps sometime in the future, you will be able to reach out and connect with this person. Continue to send love from a distance and don’t loose contact. Find ways to fill your well and value YOU. Remember all this shall pass. Don’t take it personally. NEXT TIME: True Friends. 

Boat Update

 My hubby's retirement hobby is beginning to look like a boat almost.

Sure lots of little pieces to glue together then bevel, sand, etc.

Good thing he's enjoying the process-it's going to be a while.

Messages

I get hundreds of EMAILS monthly on my computer,

but messages can also come from OTHER sources.

Prayers and daily inspiration are necessary helps.

ANSWERS to concerns can come in various ways:

actual voices or positive ideas in your MIND,

ADVICE that others offer to help you along your way,

even fortune cookie fortunes or horoscopes can offer CLUES.
My horoscope for today are right on:

Zero in on what you feel is important.
You have a tendency to sell yourself short or become insecure.
You'll do such a great job at covering up your feelings
that you might not even know how you really feel.

Life is certainly an ADVENTURE! Books or newspapers

can reveal answers too. Here's what my FORTUNE cookie

said today: Joy will come with the return of a good friend.
Where is my FRIEND Caryn when I need her? She emailed!

My son Jeff called and his wife Rachel gave birth to their son!
Edmund is here Sunday 12:27 am, 7 lbs-17 inches-a big boy!
Photo from the proud father Jeff, posted on Facebook.

Tell me about your PERSONAL messages/answers lately.
Just CLICK below on comments, then leave your thoughts.

Think CREATIVELY-Facebook

The United States has created an environment that fosters innovation and promotes creativity, said the CNN article. An interesting article that further states, In the United States, people can make monumental fortunes when they have good ideas. But many of the most influential entrepreneurs are driven more by a sense of mission than materialistic pursuits. (Photo from CNN.com)

We just watched a netflix video about Facebook's founder that was interesting especially at this time as Facebook just launched on the stock market. I enjoy being on Facebook and the interactions and connections with extended family that it makes possible. What is your opinion of FACEBOOK? Are you a member?

Summer is here!

We've hit the 100 degree mark and it will soon be a permanent part of our daily weather forecast. Time for changes and new opportunities. I'm all involved in writing for grants for our new Utah Poet Laureate to come and teach at next year's Poetry in the Park workshop in March. Lots to do still, though I'm trying to make more time for me to relax and unwind after a busy busy year. I'm enjoying water aerobics 3 times/week MWF at our community pool then hubby and I have started walking 3 times/week on the off days-T Th Sa. It's amazing to have my spouse up by 6 am so we can get out while it's still cool to work in the garden and go for a walk. 

 Today Allen planted a yellow rose of Texas in our anniversary garden 

while I picked a bowl full of fresh strawberries, 

then we had breakfast and a walk before it was even 8 am.

  I'm loving summer so far and the smell of flowers

  honeysuckle is blooming everywhere this time of year.

What are you doing these days? How does the weather affect you? Please leave a comment, it's not that difficult and makes my day to see that someone has read my post and took the time to respond.

Article #196 Taking Things Personally

           Time is a great teacher and negative experiences or difficult people that come into your life can be a blessing IF you learn from each encounter. Try to act don’t react and DON’T take things personally. Consider that maybe others who are negative towards you are needing some compassion and understanding. It may not be YOU personally they are upset with, but other circumstances or problems they are facing as an individual. That could explain why they are acting inappropriately. When dealing with teenagers or depressed individuals take time to consider your reaction before speaking can be time well spend, rather than immediately becoming DEFENSIVE.

            When you require all other individuals that you interact with whether family or friends to meet unrealistic expectations like being perfect and happy all the time, you are asking for trouble and disappointment.  Life is full of challenges and opportunities to grow and progress. This topic could also be called how to become an OBSERVER of others and of yourself. It’s a normal physical response to react when you feel attacked whether the stimulus is a physical threat or emotional abuse from others. Despite all your good intentions to act instead of react, there’s an automatic gut response you must learn to control. When a relationship becomes difficult, try to become an unbiased observer to see if you can tell what is happening within you and with the other individual. IF you are at fault, change your behavior. If not, send value to the other person and listen.

            Say you are in a troubling relationship of some kind. Can you change yourself or the other person? The bad news is it’s almost impossible to change others, but if you modify how you REACT to others misbehavior, the other person has to act differently. If you don’t play the role of defensive victim anymore, but stand your ground, the other person involved is thrown off balance and will have to find a new strategy.

             It’s sometimes called “the dance of anger. ” If you don’t do your part, the other person will have to react differently. It’s also called CO-DEPENDENCY. Instead of being an enabler, if you stand up for yourself courageously, send value to the other person involved, situations can change for the better. If it’s a physical abusive relationship, you may need intervention from others to strengthen you or create protective barriers. NEXT TIME: Crazymakers 

Happy Mother's Day

Mother's Day 2012 in Utah Valley-great weekend

with family celebrating our families!!

I'll be celebrating this special day for honoring those mothers in all our lives with my family in Utah Valley. Be it our own mother, a grandmother, aunt, sister, daughter or daughter-in-law that we remember and honor today, we all need their nurturing influence in our families-not only with the children but with all of us. FAMILY WE BELIEVE IN EACH OTHER!

 Remember the early bird gets the worm and it's probably the mommy bird 

who is up early looking for worms for her babies.

There's still an opportunity to win a free copy of my book Find Your Voice, Write Your Life Story. Just leave a comment on my last post and tell me you'd like to be in the drawing. Be sure and leave your name or someway to contact you. Until May 15th I'll be accepting anonymous and other comments. No strings attached, just a free book to help you write your life story.

FREE BOOK-marketing SELF!

Sometimes when you give up trying to sell something, it sells! My latest book Find Your Voice, Write Your Life Story is an example. Read review here. Yesterday at a church picnic for women, I sold 3 copies of that book and had a couple more ordered. HURRAH! It was fun was talking to the woman who bought my book and she said she had read my columns which are the basis of the book and noticed how much our lives paralleled each other. It made me happy to know that my book is helping change lives of those who read it and inspire them with the desire to write their own life story. 

So here's a survey to take: type your answers in a comment
1. Have you written your life story?
2. If not, what stops you?
3. If you have, what benefits came to you because of that?

FREE BOOK giveaway-in your comment tell me if you'd like to be in a drawing for a free book. Never commented before? Just click below on the link that says comments and follow the instructions. You'll be asked to enter your google account or you can just leave an anonymous comment. Leave me a way to contact you IF you win the book-link or email address. Open to all my blogging friends old and new. Comments accepted until May 15, 2012. Winners will be select by a drawing.

Editor for Hire?

Well, I'm in the EDITING BUSINESS. After volunteering many hours to help others get their writings ready to publish, it occurred to me I don't have time to continue this. So I decided to charge for my services as an EDITOR for those who are serious about publishing. Paying me $25/hour makes them more responsible/serious in completing their writings in a more timely manner. 

Having self published many books I know the process inside out.  The problem I'm finding is when the person I'm working with wants to keep making changes daily while in the editing mode, you may never get a finished product unless you stop and accept your final draft as is. But I can't complain if it takes more time, that's more money for me. 

Anyone want a book edited? My book Find Your Voice: Write Your Life Story has several chapters on editing, binding and other concerns, if you are interested in doing it on your own. Just send me an email to lin at sunrivertoday dot com and I'll send you a copy of my book for $10 plus $3 shipping or go to paypal. If you live close to me or it can be done online, contact me for one on one editing help. Having your own book printed especially your life story and published in hand is very satisfying, even if no one wants to buy it or read it. YOU DID IT!!!

Make time to REST

I barely survived APRIL...too much going on. To regurgitate:

Youth Poetry Contest-206 entries to judge, program to organize

with my Poetry in Action group that performed for the winners

as I gathered prizes and handed them out to winning participants,

Spring vacation with Dan's family, twin grand daughters visit here,

trip to Arizona for Jeff's graduation, poetry conference in SLC,

classes I tried to organize-write your life story and slimmer you-

no students came, a gazillion meetings attended including Zion

Park to take over Poetry in the Park for next year, saying goodbye

to friend Caryn and getting a few last Artist's Dates in, shopping

together, visiting and just hanging out. Numerous family birthdays-

Brook, James and hubby, starting new church calling as family

history missionary. It was way too busy. Now the challenge is to

slow down and do less, but enjoy it more. Have started a water

aerobics class-love sunbathing afterwards. How's your life going?

Article #195 Resolving Conflict

            It’s impossible to avoid conflict even if you are a relaxed laid back type of individual. Disagreements, opposition and misunderstandings are part of what makes for the human condition, because none of us are perfect. The important thing is to take care of negative self-talk that can create conflict within you. Be at peace with yourself, despite other’s misbehavior. That will come by understanding your own values, goals and purpose in life.

             One of my important goals is to have a happy loving unified family and that does happen occasionally, but wanting it 24/7 isn’t humanly possible. So, I have to listen to the strident voices inside my head that say…well, you could keep everyone happy IF…or IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT if this person is upset with this other family member. After analyzing and writing in my personal journal about this kind of situation many times, I have come to realize that I am the only person I can control. I can try to be a good example to my grown children and young grandchildren, but I can’t force others to behave how I expect or want them to.

            Understanding that you don’t have to make everything all better for everyone can help alleviate stress on your part. Sometimes as parents and especially as women, we want to rescue everyone else from their problems at our own expense. Not valuing yourself can lead to physical-emotional draining and depression.

           So how do you take care of yourself? If you don’t keep your own well filled there is no way you can help others or react appropriately to conflict. There is an inner balance to maintain-not becoming self-centered, but having self esteem or worth enough to protect yourself in all situations by acting and not just reacting. Sometimes it seems the only way to develop a positive feeling about yourself is by NOT doing it enough years that you realize a change has to take place. How do you view and treat yourself? Maybe it’s time to stop taking personally every negative comment or conflict that others might throw your way or that your inner voices or the media insinuate is your problem. Try focusing on compliments that come your way and even give yourself some positive statements or affirmations to strengthen your self-esteem. i.e. You can do it. That was a good job. You’ve certainly got talent, etc.