Friday, September 26, 2014

Article #310 Art of Conversation

While visiting family recently my adult son advised his teenage daughter not to accept a date from any guy who asks her out by texting. This concerned father wants to first meet personally face to face any potential dating partner before okaying his teenager to go out socially. I had to laugh reflecting back on my lack of dating experiences during high school. I could certainly relate to my grand daughter’s dilemma of wanting to be invited to the Homecoming dance. Not dating while in high school was traumatic but seemed normal for me as a shy tall skinny teenager with no social skills. Nowadays life has changed with cell phones, and social media on the Internet. The world is almost not recognizable.            
Talking is a lost skill in our modern day of instant texting or e-mailing. Just to sit by someone, look into their eyes noticing their body language and having a heart to heart talk is a lost skill. Returning from a weekend visit with my grandchildren, I treasure those rare moments of conversing that happened when I found myself alone with a loved one. In the car, sitting side by side having a snack or asking a question about their activities made for rare occasions to share a conversation together. One teenage grand daughter is quite curious about my dating days. How did I meet grandpa, etc. What does love feel like, etc. As she has reached dating age, I try to impress upon her that I didn’t date during high school and survived.
            I remember having this same kind of conversation with my mother about her boy friends and dating when I was in my teens. It was a way to learn life’s important lessons. Unfortunately my mom never had the facts of life or birds and bees talk with me. She came from a generation that shied away from such topics. I would have received better instruction from my mom than my giggling girl friends at overnight slumber parties or from the movies. There are many lessons that today’s youth need to learn from someone older who has experienced life and has their welfare at heart. This MUST be done face to face with love and sensitivity.
            What conversations do you recall having with your parents or grandparents? I remember writing down the details of my maternal grandmother’s courting days and marriage. What fun that was. NEXT TIME: Parental Influence. 


Linda Kay said...

Happy post. I agree that conversation has become somewhat of a lost art. After two texts with my daughters, I pick up the phone and call, and hopefully they aren't in a no-cell-phone area. With my granddaughters living so many miles away I am grateful for a text, but would much prefer talking. My mother met my dad when she was 15. The second time she saw him, they went for a drive in his car and got stuck on a muddy road! Getting the car out was a struggle, and they ended up going to his house about 5 miles away to get his shoes cleaned up. He was 18. They dated for 6 years, then married for 61. Unbelievable.

dellgirl said...

I enjoyed reading reading your post, Lin. You are right about the lack of conversation today. I agree with you.

Shel Harrington said...

Had to chuckle when I saw your comment about your mom not have the B&B chat with you. I came home from school one day and there was a book on my bed with a note that said "Let me know if you have any questions." And my mother was a nurse! Needless to say, I didn't feel the need to ask questions!

I love that your plugging in with your grandkids, Lin, and that they're interested in the past. We used to say "talk is cheap." Now it's a rare commodity!

Sandy Carlson said...

When I was in high school, I learned through hard experience to trust my dad's judgment about young men. He got it right every time. Of course, his favorite young man among my friends was not interested in young ladies! Which is to say dad knew who was an excellent friend for me. Elders know.

Kay said...

It's funny that when our kids left home, Art and I had to learn to converse with each other.