It seems to be human nature to point out the faults of others, whether it’s elected officials, family or friends. Ignoring your own faults rather than changing them seems easier as you criticize others. Family seems to be the main laboratory where you can learn how to bully, and undermine others. Never realizing that it can also be a place of positive change: learning kindness, love and forgiving because of our intimate daily interactions.
Courtesy can go a long way in making the pathway easier for you and those around you. Giving others the benefit of a doubt, trusting in their innate goodness, wanting to make every conflict a win/win for all involved goes a long way in making your own life happier. Marriage offers a real test of this theory or idea. Treating your spouse as you’d like to be treated rather than as you perceive your spouse with all of his or her limitations is treating you. The Golden Rule still applies…do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Easier said than done, unfortunately.
If you believe the purpose of earthlife is to improve yourself first, not the rest of mankind––take heart. It can be done. It’s actually easier to change yourself than others. Realize that criticisms and gossip affect more damage than good. Look for the positive in each person you meet. It’s there, but in some individuals it will take an effort to find it. As you change the way you interact with others, they will change indirectly.
Try this experiment, the next time you feel a negative statement forming on your lips, decide to dispose properly of your trashy talk instead substitute a compliment. You’ll be amazed at the result, even if you only practice on yourself in your mind. When is the last time you remember giving yourself a compliment for an outstanding effort? We all need encouragement. As I’m sitting here in the wee hours of the morning trying to find something significant to write for my column, I realize that I care about each of my readers and the effect of my words on them. I’m also concerned about every individual in my family, friends and others I make contact with daily. You see I’m hoping one day to listen in at my funeral and hear…she always encouraged me. That will be my greatest accomplishment. NEXT TIME: Inner Scars