Saturday, June 20, 2009

Step Families

Almost the norm now with so many divorces
and broken families sometimes through death.
Picking up the pieces of relationships unhealed
is a challenge but necessary part of going on.

The past can't be recreated only remembered,
new family connections will need to be made,
strengthened and developed through time,
patience and unconditional love in abundance.

One day a new blended family different than
the original one can be appreciated by all.
After all, we are all just brothers and sisters
of one great family with the same heavenly parents.

I am a step daughter, step sister, and stepmother,
also a step grandmother, step aunt and an ex-wife,
ex-aunt, ex-sister-in-law, etc. I have ancestors
who were exes and steps also. Life is a challenge.


  1. Life is a challenge and you faced it very gracefully(as from whatever i learnt of you from your posts).....nice post Lin.Regards.

  2. My children are so very fortunate in that they have the most wonderful stepfather one could want. "Steps" are certainly blessings to us in many ways. Enjoyed the post.

  3. You certainly do have a lot of "titles"!!

  4. I'm not all together sure I understand the need for so many "titles" A child is a child. A loving aunt is a loving aunt. A woman who nutures and takes care of a child is a mother in one form or another.

    My oldest boy is becoming very involved with a sweet girl who has two children. I'm hoping that he will take care of and love her two little ones with the same commitment to parenting that he has with his own son. She "mothers" my grandson far better than the woman who gave him birth. Should they marry, I don't plan on giving her two children a different title than the four grandchildren I have now. I will remember their birthdays, and play night games in the park with them, and have them come stay with us at the hollow. I will love having six grandchildren. Why do even need the word "stepchild"?

    I understand that as a couple they will have the complications of dealing with the scars, and the jealousies of ex-husbands and ex-wives. I know that there will be times when they will be uncertain and let past angers or hurts seep into their relationship. But... Wayne and I had to face many of the same issues.

    ALL human interaction is difficult. I wonder sometimes if labeling those new people who come into our lives to fill the empty spaces left by those who have moved out of them doesn't complicate issues even further. I just don't understand titles. I don't mean by saying the words... I mean by thinking in even the darkest recesses of our minds that they are somehow seconds, or add-ons.

    Every new person we welcome into our lives to love is a blessing.

    You and Allen and your children are a great family!! You have a great time together. You're giving with each other. And you have things about one another you want to shake your fist over. You have some beautiful children and grandchildren. You have those whose lives are in sinc with yours, and those whose lives are a total mystery to you.

    You're more like those of us that have had only one spouse and are raising our eyebrows at the idiosincricies of only our natural born children than you know.

    Life is delicious!

  5. Life is a challenge and there have always been the hurts as well as the joys. To be able to focus on the joy and release the pain from hurts is the only way to truly achieve happiness -- at least that's what has worked for me. Everyone has their own way of dealing with the challenges we all have. Good post, Lin.

  6. What a wonderful, interesting family, Lin. And Caryn's point about labels is a great one, isn't it? Best wishes to all your family members.

  7. I don't know what it's like to be a step someone but I remember my dear friend who was a step mother and she was the best step mother in the world. Relationships are truly what you make of it whether it's step or not. I know what a step and ex everything you are, Lin.

  8. I too have many "step" in my life and those people aren't treated any differently. I think it's wonderful that so many people are accepting on all the changes that life throws at us and no longer do people have to stay in horrible marriages...