Article #225 Personal Battles

            During a recent family holiday gathering, I was thrilled to have so many of my immediate family members together: six of my seven grandchildren, two of my four sons and their wives. It was not an easy to arrange with so many schedules involved. We solved the problem of the nearby in-laws who also wanted their family together for the holiday by combining families––the more the merrier. I get along well with all my daughter-in-law’s parents. We are near the same age and have much in common.

            Amid the chaos of so many cousins and siblings playing and moving about, it was possible to visit one on one with most of my family members. However just at dinnertime, tragedy struck when one of the youngest grandchildren, only three years old, was injured jumping on the trampoline outside with her six year old cousin. Her cries immediately brought everything to a stop. Her mom, a nurse, checked out the leg that the child couldn’t put any weight on.  The immediate thought was a hairline fracture of the femur, which proved to be true later. This was almost stopped our holiday dinner in its tracks, until an in-law grandparent suggested that the child lay down and watch a video while the rest of us ate dinner before making the trip to the ER.

            Our celebration ended after dinner when the parents of the injured child left for x-rays. This sweet grandchild’s femur did have a hairline fracture which will necessitate this lively little girl to curtail her activities for many weeks. She is too young for crutches and too heavy to be carried everywhere with a cast on her leg. What a sad development for an otherwise joyous holiday gathering of feasting and visiting.

            Mishaps, accidents and opposition are personal battles to be expected in life even though we try to avoid them. As a parent or grandparent you don’t want your loved ones to have to ever experience pain or discomfort. You would gladly carry their burdens on your own shoulders, but it can’t be done. We, each of us, will have our share of challenges to work through as we assume the responsibilities of parenting and try to protect our family from disappointment, worry or pain. We can rally together to give support, love and prayers as a family as trials come into our individual lives. NEXT TIME: New Traditions

People pleasing and the word NO!

Well, it happened again as I almost took on the RESCUER role

after a phone call from an individual who wanted editing help

with his biography and I had been recommended. How can you

say "no" after that introduction? I would be rejecting two people:

the person who recommended me and the person needing help.

I've always tried to keep everyone happy even at my own expense. 

You think after SURVIVING two demanding marriages and divorces,

I should have learned, but I'm still a work in progress. Smile...

Finally after lots of thought, prayer and inner voices arguing inside,

REASON prevailed and I decided to say "No." The requester was quite

polite and accepted my decision well. I'm happy and realize again

how difficult it is to keep priorities in mind and my life in BALANCE!

Article #224 Affirmations and Compliments

            I have a hard time with self-help books or classes that want you to make affirmations or state a goal you wish to achieve as already happening. Example:  I'm a success at losing weight. Repeating this positive phrase is suppose to help you believe that you can accomplish it. What I find lacking in affirmations is honesty or a plan. I can’t affirm that I’m thinner, unless I am. Affirmations only add to the confusing self-talk (both positive and negative) that can go on inside your head or mind. We are all good at self-criticizing. Maybe it's time to substitute true positive compliments to yourself instead of fake positive statements. (Although, if affirmations work for you, don’t let me stop you.)

            Here’s some examples of self-talk from my life:

             1. BOOKS: I could say as an affirmation: I am successful at selling my books or Negative self talk: well, you've certainly failed at trying to sell your own self published books or I could compliment my efforts: I have to say you have really tried to sell your books and YOU HAVE WRITTEN FOUR OF THEM! plus helped other friends to self publish their own. Compliments or positive self talk build and encourage you rather than tear you down, while affirmation can lead to more disappointments.

            2. RELATIONSHIPS: Affirmation: I will motivate my extended family to gather for the holidays or Negative self talk: Well for all your efforts, the rewards have been few in trying to get your whole family together for a reunion versus a compliment for my efforts: You had a wonderful time with those family members who were able to come and celebrate the new baby's blessing. Keep trying.

            3. SELF IMAGE and WEIGHT LOSS: Affirmation: I feel good with all the weight I’m losing or Negative self talk: You've gained back most of the weight you lost in the past few years and struggle with your eating habits versus complimenting my efforts: You are trying again to loose weight and exercise more––good for you.

            I hope you get the idea. We each need to be our own best CHEERLEADER. Although it helps to have friends, family or spouse who do that also. The only person we can control is OURSELVES!!! Focus on eliminating affirmation-type and negative self-talk by adding a compliment or two to restore HOPE to your life. What are some COMPLIMENTS you need to give yourself? Write them in your journal now. NEXT TIME-Personal Battles.