How many times have your heard the term I regret that…? If as you get older and look back you feel that life hasn’t been fair because of unfulfilled dreams or expectations not met, it helps to become an OBSERVER of your own life. Step back and take an unbiased look at your life. Try to understand how most of your trials became blessings years later. Journaling can help with this process.
Right now I’m writing a book entitled Discover Your Voice After Divorce. It will be a workbook or journal with prompts or questions to explore to get the reader to examine his or her life a little closer. It focuses on seeing the growth that can come and perhaps did from the devastation that divorce brings to a family and the individuals involved. Whether or not you were the victim or cause of the divorce is irrelevant. Both individuals are forever changed, the dynamics of their lives and their children’s daily existence especially. It is possible to heal, then reflect on wisdom and strength gained from this time or any other disappointment/loss in life.
My divorce back in 1975 continues to influence who I am today. My self confidence, fears, doubts and even my outlook on life. I don’t regret marrying the individual I did because it made it possible for me to start a family. Becoming a mother was a lifelong goal I’d had since a young girl. Since my father died when I was five, I always wanted to be part of an intact family which I had for 11 years until my divorce. Looking back I can remember the pain of the betrayal I felt with the breakup of my fairy tale marriage OR I can focus on the joys and happiness of giving birth and being a mom responsible for raising my sons.
In term of regrets I could focus on how it felt to be disappointed that I never had a daughter or I can smile at the memories of encouraging my sons in scouting, athletics and hobbies that were definitely masculine. I’m probably more thankful now for daughter-in-laws and grand daughters because of my earlier trials. Unfulfilled dreams are sometimes replaced by surprises that you never could have planned. So accept life as it comes and make new dreams. Be thankful for whatever happens. NEXT TIME: Affirmations and Compliments