Article # 208 Healing Letters

Expressing your frustrations through writing a letter to someone involved can be healthy. It’s a safe place for you to work through your frustrations. but don’t send the letter. I wrote to a former spouse expressing my feelings about our divorce. After rereading my words, I wrote a response to myself from this person to try to see his possible point of view. This process may surprise you with new understandings.

When I was five years old, my father died in an airplane accident. There’s always been an empty place in my life. A few years ago, I decided to write a healing letter to my long absent father expressing my loneliness and longing to have him near. This activity helped me release many pent up emotions. Then, I decided to write a response from his viewpoint to my letter. It was enlightening to try to imagine his feelings about being suddenly separated by death from his family at age 29. How lonely he must have felt and wanting to communicate, but unable. This whole process was cathartic for me.

Instead of writing a letter you could just use your journal to examine the lessons or strengths you are gaining from a difficult situation. Say you are recently widowed. Your loss is great after years of loving companionship. You wonder how you will continue on alone. Try writing about these emotions in your journal. Then, write a possible response from your spouse’s viewpoint. What advice or comfort would your loved one give you? Is it possible for this time in your life to be full of personal growth that wouldn’t have happened if you were still together?

One of my friends wrote a healing letter to her recently departed husband as part of a local hospice program. She found it brought closure to the grieving process. Pent up emotions are not healthy, no matter what the loss is that you are experiencing. Own your feelings, then move on with your life with gratitude for the lessons learned and strength gained from the bumps in the road of life. The letters written are for your own healing and not to be sent to those involved or shared with others unless you desire to. Perhaps you’ll find the strength to talk face to face with anyone involved that is still around. Do you have a healing letter to write. Do it! NEXT TIME: Morning Walks