Sunday, May 27, 2012

Article #198 True Friends

             Count yourself lucky or blessed if you have a true friend––a person who loves you unconditionally and accepts you as you are. Most of us can look back and count the number of close friends we’ve had over the years who could always be relied upon to be there with a listening ear and an understanding heart.

            How does one find a person like that and keep their friendship alive? Perhaps you have a spouse or family member who qualifies as a true friend, that’s a double blessing. Usually for women it’s most likely a girl friend and not your spouse who has those empathetic qualities. Although, I know there are sensitive men who could qualify. A son of mine has a kind heart for anyone be it: parent, spouse, child or neighbor. He is a compassionate listener and genuinely cares about what you are feeling.

            With a friend that you trust, you know you can share your closest fears, weaknesses and disappointments. That person will not judge you and will keep your confidence. You are also their trusted friend. The process of sharing your deepest feelings with someone else can be the solution for many problems. Just talking about concerns helps women. Most men automatically want to solve their wife’s problems. They don’t understand that the solution usually comes for her to express her feelings with someone she knows loves and accepts her.

            Advice giving is not needed, but validation is. Sending value to the other person by listening carefully, commenting sensitively and having empathy. I can imagine how that feels, etc. Be the type of friend to the other person that you want to have. Being an only child, I’ve never had a close sibling to be my friend, although I’ve had girl friends that feel like sisters.

            Family should be there to help one another, to believe in one another but sometimes relatives are too close and misunderstandings do happen. Then it’s helpful to have that close friend to call, email or visit with to get centered (at peace) again. Someone you know cares deeply about your welfare and takes time to listen. If you have a friend who only talks about their problems and never listens to you, that can be draining. Perhaps you need to move on and find another person who will be a true friend in every sense of that term. NEXT TIME-Male-Female Differences

5 comments:

Millie said...

I really never had a good close friend except 9 years ago the only person I really called my good firend got married and ended uo moving far away (India). I miss her and we still talk on the phone, emails and facebook, but our friendship changed after she married.

Rambling Woods said...

I tell my daughter this and I am lucky to have one long-time good friend with a long shared history..

mom/caryn said...

Sounds just like you to me. That is the kind of friend you have always been to me. I love you, Lin Floyd!!

Bo G och Birgitta Wennerlund said...

You are that kind of a friend to me, Lin! It's amazing that we have got so close with the whole Antlatic Ocean between you, and a great part of America. Soon we will be home from our mission (less than 6 weeks) and then we can write more often. Love you very much! Hugs from Sweden, Gittan

SandyCarlson said...

I agree with you completely about validation. We crave it. With it, we can see our own errors, too....