Article #142 Family Structure

The family you were raised in certainly has a strong influence on your upbringing and personality. My widowed mother brought me up in a single parent family. As an only child I never experienced sibling rivalries that are so common in normal families. There was no competition or interaction with sisters or brothers, no sharing problems, but also no bonding with a father. Cousins became my closest family members of the same age. My grandparents played a huge role in my life as early babysitters and role models. In my teen years, I did go through the adjustment of gaining a stepfather when my mother remarried when I was 17 years old. Learning to share mom wasn’t easy for me as I look back at those tumultuous days. (Photo-my mom in the center with 3 or her 4 siblings.)

The financial situation of your family, marital status, and location influence the person you become. The type of work your parent/s were engaged in as well as what happened in society during your life are factors in who you become. If you were adopted or joined a stepfamily affects your development. Describe your early feelings as a child about “your family.”

I thoroughly believe that you are influenced by your environment, but each person is unique because of their innate personality. How that happens is up to individual interpretation. I know each of my sons despite having the same parents was born with different personalities. What do you remember your parents saying about you as a baby? Were you demanding, placid or fussy? One of my sons was a peacemaker from his early days with his brothers despite their little jealousies and conflicts as kids growing up.

Your placement in the family also influences you. Were you the oldest child in your family or the middle or the baby? How did that influence your expectations? Were there only boys or girls or a mixture of both in your home? What are your earliest memories of growing up and challenges that you faced?

How did your childhood experiences influence your own family, if you married and had children that you raised? I was completely unprepared for raising sons after being raised as an only child. I remember experiencing shock the first time my babies got old enough to be jealous and fight! Are there any words of inspiration or counsel you’d give to your kids on raising their kids-your grandchildren? Be careful there!