Saturday, December 4, 2010

Article #127 Learning From Life

You spend your whole life learning how to live better, then die and take all that knowledge with you. It’s a waste. There has to be a better way. Speaking from experience, I can tell you that your own kids aren’t too interested in what you’ve learned or getting your advice. The trick is to somehow disguise this hard won wisdom and package it for easier consumption for your posterity. (Three grandkids-twins Heather and Emilee and newborn Nathan about 7 years ago.)

I do have one son who asks probing questions over family dinners like “What have you learned lately, Mom?” But most children and grandchildren are too busy with their own activities and electronic gadgets to spend any time asking or listening to your views on life’s mysteries. So how do you reach them? Use those electronic gadgets, play their own game. Get their help to make a blog or webpage where you can share your views or join Facebook and comment on their remarks. Be interested in their lives and what is important to them.

Make opportunities to unplug them. I suggest an outing together like a grandchild date or activity to get each of them alone, so you can focus on communicating better. Listening sends such value in our busy world. Let them talk, and ask questions. When that teaching moment comes and it will, give your opinion and any advice that will help them. I’m not asking you to parent them but to co-parent them with the cooperation of your own children. My son and dg-in-law have daddy or mommy dates with each child frequently where they can have that important “one on one” time. Why not grandparent-child or aunt/uncle-child dates? (Below-many generations-grandma, mom and nana or great grandma.)










If you live some distance away from your family, use the computer to communicate or write letters. Phone or visit somehow, you’ll be glad you did. Our grandchildren (and children) are in great need of the wisdom we gained the old fashioned way through “the school of hard knocks.” They have many preconceived ideas about the world we live in that a little chat can help them clarify what’s true. But first you need to analyze what it is you’ve learned from living your life that you’d like to share with your loved ones. That will be the topic for this column in the New Year: figuring out how to leave a legacy for your family. It’s time to write down your life story, if you haven’t.

7 comments:

  1. I have 12 journals I need to keep up constantly...but one journal I am enjoying is the journals I dedicated to my 2 grand-daughters. In each one of them I have been jotting down everything they do as they are growing up, along with photos of many special occasions we had together, sentimental cards they have made for me and some of the cute and crazy things they say. On their wedding day I will give them their journals with all the memories Nana enjoyed with them as they were growing up.

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  2. super ideas but I guess in the end, it's just good that we learn and make note of what we learn.

    NaNoWriMo works for me to some extent.

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  3. neat thoughts..... and a great reminder to share your life stories with the next generation. My mom is doing that now and we're so enjoying that!

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  4. I'm happy to have a daughter who is always asking for advice and giving it as well. I also have a son who is always on my case, but often asks questions as well. Technology is great for keeping the lines of communication open.

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  5. My children do not ask for advice, but I see my example carried out in their own words and actions. I don't see my job as sharing my wisdom, but rather in setting an example of how they can gather wisdom themselves.

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  6. You sound like a wise grandma:)) I bet they adore being around you, Lin.

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  7. I like the idea of unplugging as I think today's young people are too much into electronics...as I type here on my laptop.. lol.. I also like the idea of Mommy and Daddy dates

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