Friday, November 5, 2010

Article #123 Empty Nest

Seems no parent is ever ready for that day when your kiddos start to leave the nest. My oldest son left home at age 18 to live with friends and go to college before he left on a mission for our church. Then after he returned, his younger brother now 19 decided to marry his high school sweetheart who was just 18. They were joined in holy matrimony, but in a few months the new bride declared her desire to date again. Wow, that’s a new one. The newlyweds were divorced after less than a year of marriage. My newly sprung chickadee returned home to the nest to live again.

At least I could share the wisdom gained from my experience with marriage and divorce. Another of my sons lived with a girl friend and eventually decided to marry her. That tumultuous marriage lasted a few years before they too were divorced. My oldest son decided not to marry, and didn’t until he was almost 35. He remains my one and only un-divorced son.

Not what I had planned for any of us, this legacy of divorce, but that seems to be where our society is moving these days. My youngest son became an only child for many years when his older brothers moved out to live on their own. That left me raising my final teenager. It was easier with just one compared to three teens at same time. Hopefully, I’d learned from my previous experiences. Fast forward to my last son’s graduation from high school, it was finally time for me to hang up my 24/7 parenting and retire after 36 years of mothering. (As if you ever retire from mothering!)

My youngest son went to college then went on a mission, returned home to college and dating. Having not dated in high school (somehow that paralleled my life), he began looking on singles websites for a possible partner. Unfortunately, the girl he chose lived several states away…so a long distance courtship was the process. They eventually married and seemed happy until she announced after a few months of marriage that she wanted her freedom and a divorce. Four sons and three divorces, what had I started? Happily I can report two of my divorced sons have married again and added lovely children who are now part of my grandchildren. We are all trying to stay married happily ever after.

5 comments:

  1. It would be interesting to know whether children of divorced parents have an above-average rate of divorce themselves. I have no idea.

    Interesting post.

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  2. Here's wishing you all those happy-ever-afters.

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  3. You just never know what your kids will do. My daughter is very traditional but my son does not believe in marriage and neither does his girlfriend. Still, they've been together much longer than many of their friends who got divorced after a few years.

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  4. We can only let our children make their own mistakes and be there to support them..I don't think coming from a divorced family leads to higher divorces, it is just much easier to get one now a days and it is more socially acceptable..that is my take on it anyway.....

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  5. I have to agree with Michelle. I have one son...31...no marriage yet. That's okay with me.

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