Monday, May 3, 2010

Dealing with emotions

I'm in the middle of trying to better understand RELATIONSHIPS especially because I'm finding myself in the middle of some misunderstandings despite my best efforts to send VALUE to others and be AWARE of others' feelings. Somehow my own feelings get LOST or misinterpreted. In the meantime, they come bursting forth disguised as REJECTION when all I seek is love, acceptance and unity.

Guess it's the PERFECTionist in me that wants to be without fault, loving and supportive of all, helping everyone be happy. BUT it can't be done. To do so, sometimes puts you in the position of RESCUER trying to fix everyone and not giving them their own space and time to work out their problems while neglecting your own emotional needs. I'm learning much. Writing and talking to others is helping me sort it out and TIME helps.

12 comments:

Jo, a retired teacher said...

Believe me, I understand how tricky this stuff is. My own missteps have mostly been with daughters-in-law. Everyone sees things through their own filters.

Good luck.

kavita said...

What i believe is that our elders are much more wiser than us because of their experiences in life.I have seen my mother-in-law offering very simple solutions to certain problems which i thought were very difficult...i respect her for that and i love the fact that she never imposes herself on me.She very tactfully suggests the solutions and sometimes draws my attention to my mistakes.We have been living together for more than 15 years now(in harmony).I know one thing for very sure a mother would always have good thoughts for her kids and his/her family...so her point should not be misunderstood.

I hope that very soon things get better...my best wishes.

aliannetee said...

Words of wisdom...hope things get better soon!!

Linda Reeder said...

It's time to stop being a fixer-upper of those things over which you have no control. Just love, listen, and let be. If your advice is wanted it will be asked for. Happiness is the responsibility of the individual. Just be a positive example and otherwise, let go. If you have worries, keep them to yourself, or share them only with your husband. Work toward your own happiness. It wil spread.

Cheryl said...

I am taking much from your posts Lin, your messages open my mind more to how others perceive me and I perceive myself.

Kay said...

Human relationships are never One Size Fits All. Thank goodness my kids and their significant others are so forgiving. I have been known to find my foot in my mouth many times.

Nedo said...

Mom, I think forgiveness comes first for any relationship to work. and I think biggest relationship we all have is the one with ourselves. If we can't forgive ourselves we can't forgive others.. just this morning I looked at tons of wood, old wood to built furniture, ones with the great knots were the most interesting ones to my eye, to some they are imperfections, to me, it was where this tree send another branch out to the nature, it was the most creative part of the tree, how can we see our mistakes, misdoings as wrong.. they are the foundation of beauty, and creativity.. if you want to look at it from another perspective and in that consciousness there is no place for judgment ! love you..

Terri Tiffany said...

DOesn't matter how young or old we are--we are always learning about relationships and our role in them. I've been where you are and it's hard to be sure. But we are who we are and can only do our best:)

Linda said...

I'm another one who can identify with your post today.

I've backed my life out of many relationships since I retired.

I have a strong tendacy toward flight not fight.

My daughter-in-law is Japanese and the cultural differences are vast. For the longest time I unknowingly would find myself in trouble over some cultural issue. They've been married 18 years and at last I think our relationship has reached the stage where we aren't walking on egg shells.

√ A-choo ! said...

You got some great answers and suggestions so no need for one more form me.

SandyCarlson said...

So know that confusion. And the pain. This may explain why I spend a lot of time with my nose in a book! Peace, Lin.

Rambling Woods said...

If anyone can work things out, it is you..You are such a loving giving person, it will always shine through in the end...hugs..Michelle