Sunday, October 18, 2009

Soul Mate?

You hear so many women talk about finding their SOUL MATE. I believe it's a fantasy, like finding your PRINCE CHARMING and living "happily ever after." Rarely do you stumble unto such a relationship, but I do believe it's possible to become soul mates in your relationship-given time and focusing your energies on trying to be an understanding and unconditional lover to your spouse or chosen companion.

I think it takes TIME and EFFORT, and develops slowly from withstanding TRIALS TOGETHER, learning how to give and take SUPPORT through illnesses, family problems, etc. Oprah.com says a soul mate is where you... inspire and support each other to grow into your best possible selves...connecting on a soul to soul level. Unfortunately most men aren't wired or taught how to connect that way...that's why it's so important to have a special female friend or two where you can make that needed soul to soul connection while you are working on developing that closeness in your marriage relationship.

As John Gray says in Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars. We are each different and see the world differently. Men don't need to talk, but women do to understand themselves. Men want to solve problems not talk about them. Women want a caring listening spouse. What are your observations?

10 comments:

  1. I agree with your thoughts on a soul mate.I found mine in 2001, after being alone for two years following a divorce after 22 years of marriage. I feel deeply that Mark is my true soul mate, as you mentioned it isn't instant, but as we go through life these past few years together it is becoming more and more apparent to me just what soul mate means. Its a daily learning process and thats ok with me, I don't ever want to stop learning!

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  2. Interesting observations; we can always learn from being our best in any relationship.

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  3. I think people make a huge mistake thinking ones partner should become a lover, care giver, confidant, emotional support, friend, nurturer,even a bank! ect.it is selfish and unfair for one to expect ones partner of all these qualities. We need to except our and our partners abilities and take what they can give us and if we need more we should look at our close community, friends, family, shrink, ect. to meet out other needs. and let our partners be humans that they are and love them for what they can give us and look at our own needs and what we can give to our partners.. soul mating comes later on..which to me is a bogus term. they either work, or they don't but most of the time if both parties are willing to work at it, things work out fine. relationship is a living entity it is opt to change its shape everyday, we all need to be flexible to change with it..

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  4. I know there are people with whom we can make an immediate connection. I have experienced it in my professional life. Usually the relationship is brief - a class, or a committee that runs its course. But I have often commented to such a person that it's too bad we won't be working with each other, because we would make quite a team.
    Are these people soul mates? I don't know.
    As to the love of my life, we are life mates who sometimes function as soul mates, sometimes not.

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  5. I believe your comments are 100% on target, Lin.

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  6. You are right, Lin. Nothing's worse than committing to go the road with someone only to find out he went off road in his heart....

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  7. Ohh...I don't know as that term seems to be thrown about pretty casually today. I think that you do become closer with time and challenges and that those things prove how good a couple you are. But I don't know about that particular term...

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  8. Art is my soul mate but I'm not sure he started out that way. We grew into our special relationship. I believe it takes time and patience to make a relationship have that solid specialness.

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  9. We met 23 years ago in Dental school..first look at each other and we knew that we are meant to be together....it was very strange ,it was like we knew each other for very long.Both of us were Teens,we kind of grew together ,made many mistakes ,did many right things too....from being boy friend-girlfriend ,studying together,becoming docs ,later getting engaged,a separation of nearly one years after our engagement as i was working for a hospital and he was setting up a clinic,getting married,a long period of battle with infertility,becoming parents...it has been a wonderful journey with all ups and downs

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  10. I agree with you, Lin. It takes a LOT of TIME and EFFORT, and develops slowly from going through and withstanding TRIALS TOGETHER. Learning how to give and take SUPPORT through illnesses, family problems is a true journey that takes real effort and commitment.

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