Friday, May 22, 2009

Article #56 A Day to Remember

I remember my first Memorial Day, the year after my dad’s funeral in June 1945. He was killed unexpectedly in an airplane crash when I was five years old. My most vivid memory from his funeral is the smell of gardenias. My mom kept all the ribbons from his floral displays for years and all the sympathy cards. There were many. We tried to meet yearly with family to decorate his grave. Now mom has passed away and is buried by his side when we visit their graves. I find myself the oldest member of my immediate family-the matriarch. That’s a sobering thought as you realize in just a few years you could also be planted beneath the sod with only a headstone to mark your life.

That’s why I write and collect genealogy, so our family will not be forgotten. I’ve visited most of my ancestor’s burial places within Utah and photographed their headstones. Nowadays I have a webpage on the Internet where I publish my family histories and photos. It does get the attention of my younger family members who are computer literate––which is most of them. My goal is family unity and learning from our ancestor’s legacies or our own heritage.

What are the lessons you want to leave for your immediate family and close friends? Your example and daily life speak volumes as you touch others’ lives and struggle through your own challenges. Writing a life history or memoirs of your experiences can help connect you to your family, a way of extending your legacy or memory for generations yet unborn. Aren’t you just the tiniest bit interested in the lives and challenges of your great grandparents who you probably didn’t even know? I am. So, should your life be any less interesting to your great grandchildren?

Try writing your own obituary of your life’s accomplishments and lessons learned or better yet write your life history or a summary. What do you want your headstone to say? My uncle Les’s headstone says…gone fishing. That was his favorite activity while living, but I bet he’d love to have just one more day, week or year of normal everyday activities with his family around––eating dinner together or simply talking. Life does have a habit of rushing forward whether or not we are prepared for the end, it will come. Think about that, as you celebrate this Memorial Day.

8 comments:

  1. What a great thought! I have not been into family history as much as I should be. It doesn't mean I'm not intersted I have LOADS of questions about my ancestors! I really want to figure it all out and start doing family history.

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  2. Never met my father's parents...would like to know abouut them. My brother researched our Irish ancestors. Yes, I'd like to know more.

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  3. Enjoyed your thoughts on family and generations. What a neat stock-taking idea, write your own obit, although perhaps a bit superstition-inducing, too! It would be like accomplishing everything on your bucket list too early...

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  4. I thought I'd learned just about everything I needed to know about my mother's family history when I interviewed her for her biography. Now that she's gone, however, I think of things every day that I wish I had asked.

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  5. This would be a wonderful exercise, Lin. I suppose it would be a way of listing goals, really.

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  6. One of the best things I have left are my values that I see in my daughter...I do have a book of my life that I wrote and gave to my daughter on her 21st birthday..it was like a journal with as much family history as I could get and also about my life..I hope she does that for her children some day...

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  7. Your post was sobering and important. It's always so hard to find the time to put it all together. Thank you for the reminder.

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  8. Gads! I missed a lot while I was out of town. I took my laptop... but couldn't get it to work while at the resort.

    This is my favorite of your most recent posts I can't say why. It just nailed my attention. Chandi and I talked about our funerals and headstone while we were in California. She wants a song from "Jospeh and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" sung at her services. It's hilarious! I want a parking meter that reads "expired" as a grave marker.

    Always leave em laughing or something like that...

    Neither one of us will get what we want. Some grieving relative will have "How Great Thous Art" sung, and have "Beloved Wife and Mother" engraved in marble.

    I have forwarded the rough draft of my personal history to my children. whew! I'll continue to work on it, but just in case I "expire" sooner than planned, at least I have the basics in their hands.

    You were (and continue to be) my inspiration.

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